“None of us had even considered the possibility,” Hana said. “Not your mother, definitely not me. I just… I can’t believe my mother would do something so awful to your family.” Her chin wobbled, and she blinked rapidly.
“Oh, Hana. This is such a mess.” I sighed as I stepped nearer. I wasn’t sure she was ready for my touch after this latest news, so I paused, willing her to come to me. She didn’t, and the hurt cut deep.
She looked down at her feet. “Maybe this is for the best.” She lifted her head and met my eyes, hers full of longing and sadness. I hated that look, and I never again wanted to be the cause of it.
“How’s that?” I asked.
“Well, I just realized tonight that I can’t resist you any longer.” She offered a tremulous smile. “You’re one of Houston’s hottest bachelors, as I’m sure you know. But if you’re also my?—”
“Stop it, Hana. I care about you, and nothing changes that. This can’t be true.” Unable to resist any longer, I crossed to her and cupped her cheek. She nuzzled into my palm. “Just…let me be there for you,” I begged, my voice cracking as emotion slammed into me again.
There was no way—none—that what I felt for Hana wasn’t right. Beautiful. Perfect. Which meant there was no fucking way we were related.No way.
But I understood her comments; I’d considered them myself on the plane ride home.
“I don’t want you to feel responsible for me. I’m a grown woman. I have a degree from a great school, and a really excellent career with NASA.” Her lips twisted. “And if I’m terribly unlucky, I’ve expanded my family to include you.”
“I want to be your family, Hana. I always have, but not like this.”
“No.” She scrubbed her palms across her face. “Not like this. Maybe this explains why there was such a gulf between Mother and me.”
“And if it does?” I asked.
“I’m just so…sad.” She leaned toward me a little, and I took it as a cue to wrap her in my arms. Holding Hana was right. “And angry. I’m really angry, Pax, that our parents made us something dirty.” She shuddered as she shoved her nose into my sternum.
“Me, too. I should have realized…”
“What?” Hana asked.
I loved that she could still read me. Knowing that she still understood me lessened some of the ache in my chest.
“That my father was a selfish, weak asshole who only looked out for himself. His wanting to break us up, leaning hard on me—it all makes sense. It was to cover his cheating, his lies, so he didn’t have to live with the consequences of his actions.”
Hana rested her cheek against my chest. “Yeah, you’re right.”
We held each other, and my heart ached at the thought of never being able to do this again. We teetered on the edge of something horrific, something that would utterly destroy our understanding of self and our connection. But it couldn’t be true. I swallowed the panic that clawed at my chest and up my throat. Just because Mei Sato said something didn’t make it true. We needed a genetic test, and we’d get one as soon as the facility opened in the morning. I knew this because both Coach Whittaker and Gunnar Evaldson had promised me after I’d finished the conversation with my mother and poured everything out to them on the plane. Those men never broke their promises.
Unlike my father.
My lips twisted. Just mine. Not Hana’s.
“I don’t get why my mother moved us in down the street from you,” Hana said, lifting her head so she could meet my eyes. “She had to have known about your mom, your family.”
I hesitated. “I think she did. And I think that’s why she did it.”
Hana pressed her cheek against my chest. “Your mother told you about my mom’s meal-ticket comment?”
“She did.” My stomach lurched again. I didn’t like the direction that comment pointed. “Which is why I demanded that my father fly out here. Much as I don’t want to see him, we need to get this situation resolved, and he’s the only one who can answer my questions.”
Hana tipped her head back to look at me. “Do you think…”
“Right now, I don’t know what to think,” I said.
“Yeah, me either. But I feel kind of…” She trailed off.
“Weird? Possibly dirty? Because that’s how I’m feeling.”
Hana’s tongue peeped out from between her teeth, and I couldn’t help my reaction—my desire for her. But what if Hana and I…No. I wasn’t going there. I wouldn’t believe it. Couldn’t.
