“Let’s have it,” Ida Jane said as she caught my cold fingers and gave them a squeeze. “What’s your worst fear?”
I puffed out a breath. “That he’ll leave, and I’ll be hurt—physically as well as emotionally. Maybe I’ll lose my leg, like I should have before. Not be able to walk. Not survive.” I whispered the last words, hating how they weighed on me.
“After what you’ve been through, I think that’s a pretty normal reaction,” Millie said. “I mean, I ran away from Luka because my subconscious bastard of a mind expected him to be like my ex and my father. But he wasn’t and he isn’t, and I’m thrilled that I was brave enough to overcome the need to keep running.” She shook her head. “I wasn’t protecting myself, like I thought. I was hurting us both by not being open and vulnerable—by letting fear win.”
Millie glanced over at Ida Jane to see if her therapist friend agreed. Ida Jane nodded, seeming thoughtful. “Fear is a real bitch,” she said.
I straightened my spine. Okay, well, then I would simplyrefuseto be afraid. Not anymore. I’d stood up to Jeremy. I’d made my peace with my mother. Paxton wanted me in his life. He hadn’t hurt me since we’d reconnected and didn’t want to. If anything, he kept trying to coddle me. I loved that, but I probably shouldn’t.
But that was beside the point. We were together athisrequest. I lived with him becausePaxtonhad asked me to.
No waywas Paxton going to throw me out on the street. He wasn’t going to leave me again. He’d promised, and I believed him—not just because I wanted to, but because I’d noted the sincerity in his expression, and I’d seen how seriously he took the commitments he made to his teammates and their partners.
Paxton meant what he said to me. He wasn’t a naïve college student any longer; he didn’t blindly listen to his father. He was his own man who knew what he wanted.
And he wanted me.
I hugged myself as the warmth of that realization permeated my chest and spiraled outward. Oh, that was delicious! I wished Pax was here so I could hug him—or better yet, throw myself at him as we both wanted.
A horn blared from the TV, and I looked over to see Naese with his arms up, stick clutched in his left hand, a huge smile on his face.
“Naese’s fourth hat trick this month,” Paloma said. She smiled my way. “Something’s going right in his life.”
“He’s scored three goalsagain?” Keelie asked, looking up from her diapering. “Wow. He’s on fire.”
“What’s that sign he just made?” Naomi asked. “I’ve not seen him do that before.”
“Oh.” I put a hand to my reddening cheek as a catch hit me in the chest—thrown right at my heart. He just kept proving himself over and over again.
“You know,” Paloma said. Her eyes sparkled.
My cheeks flamed even brighter. “Erm, yes. It’s just… He used to do that…for me.”
“Well, I can guarantee the reporters are going to want the details,” Ida Jane said. “Tell us now so we don’t have to wait.”
“There’s not much more to say. Pax started making that sign—it’s an H—the first time he scored a goal back in peewee. He said it was for me.”
“Aw. That’s cute,” Keelie said. Brooks continued to fuss. She settled with him in a chair and began to nurse.
“So, there’s something that’s been bothering me about the story you told us when you first showed back up on Naese’s life,” Naomi said. She was reclined in one of Paxton’s huge chairs, her son, Felix, on her chest. His tiny back rose and fell under her splayed palm. “Why did Naese’s dad push you two apart?”
“Because Sawyer, that rat bastard of a husband of mine, was hiding his affair with Hana’s mother.”
Our heads whipped toward the front door, where Rosemary Naese, Paxton’s mother, now stood.
Chapter22
Hana
“That’s…” Keelie stared down into her cup, muttering to herself. “I hate cheaters.” She looked close to tears. I didn’t know her backstory, but it was clear some important man in her life had hurt her through an affair.
“Fucked up,” Naomi said. She was the brashest of the women, and she didn’t seem to care if she upset Mrs. Naese’s sensibilities. Granted, from what Pax’s mother had just dropped, I was pretty sure it was my sensibilities that were smashed.
Keelie cupped the back of her son’s head and kissed his little temple before she transferred him into his car carrier.
Rosemary stepped farther into the room as she tucked a set of keys into her bag.
“He didwhat?” I asked. “Wait. How are you here?”
