I held my breath as the text went from delivered to read.
Three dots appeared…disappeared…fuck!...reappeared…yes! Answer me…
Hana: I’m thinking about it.
I blew out a breath.
Me: Anything I can do to help you make up your mind?
Hana: I don’t think so. It’s a mental thing. Fear’s pretty difficult to overcome.
Me: Yeah, but it’s not impossible. And we are a great team, Hana. The best. I know things ended badly, but think about before that. We were so good together, so happy.
I expected her to respond about the crash and the ensuing months when she struggled to survive. She surprised me instead.
Hana: If I do manage to overcome the initial fear hurdle, it may come back.
Me: And I’ll prove to you each and every time that you made the right choice by giving us this second chance.
Hana: Okay.
I figured that was enough for tonight.
Me: Night, Hana.
Hana: I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Great game, Pax.
I stared at the screen for a long moment.
Me: I love you.
I hit send and once again watched for the message to be read. Once I was sure she had, I closed my eyes and imagined how good it would feel to come home to Hana.
That was a dream—no, agoal—worth fighting tooth and nail for.
Chapter18
Hana
“Well, here goes nothing,” I mumbled. Once I had my seatbelt on, I clutched the steering wheel of Paxton’s SUV—he’d had it shipped out to me so I had something to drive cross-country from San Jose to Houston. I’d gotten the job at NASA, and that was now my new home. The loon seemed to think I was capable of driving this beast after the two lessons he’d given me while I was in Houston last time.
“Crazy man,” I said. But I smiled as I said it. He’d been patient, so like the Pax I remembered, and I’d struggled to pay attention to his instructions because I was busy watching his large hands on the wheel and the shift of light across the contours of his face.
His eyes changed color depending on the sunlight. I’d spent hours and hours studying his eyes while we were growing up. They were beautiful. Long lashed and under thick, nearly broody dark brows. His eyes were always focused on his task, and I’d liked it best when I was his task. Paxton had always made me feel like I was the center of his world when he turned that bright, determined expression toward me.
I shivered, missing it now. As he’d instructed, I depressed the brake and started the ignition. With exquisite care, once the SUV was in drive, I pulled away from the curb and eased into the narrow street. With a sigh of relief, I headed toward the traffic light, going five miles under the speed limit.
By the time I needed gas three hours later, I felt much more confident in my skills, and I turned on the radio, singing along as I sped along I-10. The scenery became less green as I hit the border with Arizona, and I marveled at the height of the saguaro cactus that dotted the landscape.
The last few weeks had been an absolute whirlwind. I was moving in with my ex-boyfriend after accepting the position at NASA. A small, petty part of me had wanted to yell, “Take that, sucker!” at Jeremy when I’d seen him in the coffee shop right after I’d signed my employment agreement, but his hangdog expression—coupled with his loss of Gunnar Evaldson’s funding—had been more than enough recompense for his attempt at ruining my career.
Jeremy had caught my eye and made his way slowly over to me. He’d slid his hands into his chino pockets and rocked back on his heels. “I’m sorry for being such an ass,” he’d told me.
The pinched expression on his face told me the apology had been tough to issue; therefore, I’d chosen magnanimity and nodded.
“You’re going to Houston?” he’d asked.
Ours was a small industry of terrible gossips; he’d known the answer to that question long before I nodded again. His expression had fallen further, as had his shoulders.
