“That’s…”Endearing. Shocking. An invasion of privacy. I shook my head because I didn’t know what to think, to feel. Everything was jumbled and messy, like when I’d lived at home. I hated chaos; I’d become an engineer to order the disorderly.
Yet turmoil followed me.
“Hana.”
Paxton’s eyes were full of emotion. “I would have come to the hospital. I would have been there for you.”
“Thank you for saying that. But you weren’t there, and I managed alone.”
I was grateful for the half wall between us—it kept the emotional distance better than I was able to on my own. Looking into his eyes, I wanted him to hold me, to reassure me that everything would work out.
Only life had proven that wasn’t true.
“I think you should go,” I said.
“I…” He blew out a breath. “I don’t want to go. But I will because you’re asking it of me. At least…at least let me talk to you—text if that’s easier. Just…please, Hana.”
I hesitated. “Okay.”
Paxton nodded. “Thank you.” He nudged his untouched mug across the counter. “I’ll talk to you soon.” He caressed me with those beautiful eyes before he turned and left. I sagged against the counter’s edge and tried to get my emotions under control.
Didn’t work. Never had with Paxton.
My phone beeped with a text.Lock your door. That skinny shit may still be lurking around.
That something that had cracked open in my chest this morning rose up again. This time I welcomed its warmth, even as I feared how much I wanted more of it.
* * *
Findinganother job in Silicon Valley proved impossible, just as Jeremy had predicted—because Jeremy had made sure everyone knew he’d fired me.
“I told you this would be a problem,” Esther mumbled, glancing around the coffee shop. “I can’t be seen with you, Hana. Jeremy’s put out the word that you’re dirt, and, well…”
“What Jeremy wants, Jeremy gets,” I confirmed. I rubbed my forehead, wondering where else I should apply. My savings were dwindling, and another student loan payment was due soon. I also had to make the payment for my hospital bills.
I calculated the expenses versus the amount of money in my checking account. Not good. And my savings weren’t enough to let me cough up first and last month’s rent on a place if I broke the lease on my apartment here.
My stomach swooped as I remembered Paxton’s comment from the other night: “I want to help you, Hana. Not because I feel obligated, which I do, I’m not going to deny that. But even more, I want to help because you deserve the opportunities. So, if it’s money, a place to stay—you name it, and I’m there to make it happen.”
Could I ask Paxton?ShouldI?
What choice did I have, really?
Pride was all well and good, but Paxton wanted to help, and he did owe me… Before I could change my mind, I dialed his number. Esther gave me a curious look, but said nothing, busying herself with her coffee.
“Is this a bad time?” I asked when Paxton answered.
“No, no, now’s good. I told you—I’ll make time.”
I narrowed my eyes, listening. “Are you at the rink?”
“Yeah, but we’re not at practice any longer. We’re trying to get Adam—he played goalie for us for the last few years—to go home to his wife and kid.”
I settled back in the chair and stared out the window. This conversation was easier, safer for my heart and wounded pride, than the one we needed to have. “Why wouldn’t he want to do that?”
Paxton sighed. “It’s complicated but not bad. Not really.” He told me more about Adam and Naomi’s situation with their preemie son and a difficult dive into parenting.
A shadow fell over me, and I rolled my eyes as I looked up at Jeremy, who was now impersonating a TV villain by looming over me and scowling. Esther mumbled an excuse as she grabbed her coffee and fled the shop.
