“I told you never to come—oh, hello, Paxton.” She cleared her throat. “Um, what are you doing here?”
I leaned my forearms on the door frame above us and enjoyed Hana’s slight jaw drop and flash of interest. “Well, first, I need to make sure you’re not talking to me about never coming back.”
She shook her head. “No, that was my ex-boss.” She hesitated, seeming to calculate something in her head before she waved me inside. I stepped into her place, noting that it was tiny but neat. Hana had always been tidy. That trait worked well for her here because the lack of clutter made the space seem…less tiny.
Her father’s teapot sat next to the stove, and her grandmother’s red silk coverlet was on the bed. Hana still wore her sweater and leggings, but she’d removed her boots and let her hair down so it spilled over her shoulder in a thick blue-black wave. I knew from experience that it would be cool and satiny to the touch.
“The skinny shit waited out front to tell me he’d fired you and I was too stupid to help you fulfill your potential.”
Hana huffed. “I need some tea. Want anything?”
“Sure. If you don’t mind.”
“I’m making chamomile. Maybe it’ll help me calm down.”
She turned on her good leg and shuffled into the kitchen, the limp more noticeable. Based on how she favored her right leg, the left one had to be hurting. She filled the kettle and grabbed two mugs.
Ah, we aren’t doing the full teapot, which means Hana isn’t accepting me here for long.I understood, but I didn’t like it. Still, I had to respect the boundaries she set. While I’d been duped by my family, Hana had been abandoned by me. I’d promised to love her, to care for her, and I’d walked away.
“What happened to the promise ring?” I asked.
Hana set down the box of tea. “I sold it.”
I swallowed, unsure what to say.
She tilted her head and studied me. “That makes you angry.”
I rubbed my palm over the back of my head. “It’s just… I worked for three summers to earn the money for that ring.”
“And then you broke your promise to me, Paxton.” The tea kettle whistled. “Look, rehashing the past is already tiresome. I needed to pay some bills. Especially…” She bit her lip and finished making us each a cup of tea. She set mine on the counter before lifting hers. Then she leaned on the counter behind her, making no move to close the growing gap between us. “Why are you really here, Pax?”
“Because I wanted to tell you again in person that I didn’t know about the accident, the hospitalization.” I swallowed. “The baby. And I’m so,sosorry you had to go through all of that alone.”
She nodded. The steam obscured her a moment, and it felt as if I was trying to translate a language with no known vocabulary.
“Thank you. I absolve you of any responsibility.”
I inhaled as I felt my eyes widen. “That’s what you think this is? A way to assuage my guilt?” My jaw tightened.
“Isn’t it?”
“No.”
“Then what is this?” she asked.
She seemed calm, collected, but I caught the faint tremor in her voice. Hana was keeping it together, but she’d had a hell of a shocking day. If my appearance yesterday had impacted her like it had me, she hadn’t slept much last night. Add to that the rollercoaster of today, and everything felt magnified and a bit warped.
Like I couldn’t quite catch my balance.
I stepped around the partial wall that separated us and walked up until the toes of my dress shoes were inches from her leg. I bent my knees, which brought us much closer to eye level. “This is me, coming to you, telling you I made a terrible mistake. One I wish to rectify.”
Those words cost me some of my pride. But what did that matter, really, if I was lonely and miserable? My pride wouldn’t laugh with me or snuggle with me. I wanted that with Hana.
“I should have ignored my father,” I continued. “Better yet, I should have told him to go fuck himself. I didn’t. That’s completely on me. And I’m so sorry you suffered because I wasn’t brave enough and strong enough to be the man you needed or deserved.”
My words seemed to bounce around the space before settling slowly, softly between us. Hana spilled tea on the counter, her hands unsteady. She set her mug aside and stared up at me, eyes liquid and warm, lips slightly parted.
“I want to be that man for you now. I know I have to prove myself, and I will. If you’ll give me that chance.”
