The waiter walked toward us, carrying our plates of steaming food. I used that as an excuse to extricate my hand from Paxton’s grasp. I settled back into the booth, my heart racing, my thoughts roiling like a soup set too high. I might well overflow, burning those around me before I burned out.
We remained silent, and Paxton picked at his meal, just as I did mine.
Finally he set his fork down. “Are you serious about him? The guy in your lab?”
I swallowed the bite I’d been chewing for much longer than necessary and dabbed at my lips. “Jeremy? We’re not dating…”
Paxton focused his intensity on me, and I liked it. I’d always liked him looking at me. “He’d like to be,” he said.
“Yes, well, thankfully, he asked for my input on the matter.”
Paxton winced.
I sighed. “I’m sorry. That was cruel.”
He inhaled as he gripped the edge of the table. “No, it’s fair. I made the choice to break up with you—not your mom or my dad or your brother.Ilet the pressure from their concerns outweigh what I knew in my heart: you’re it for me, Hana. I met my soulmate when I was seven years old.”
His quiet words soothed the ragged pieces of me as I wondered how, if he’d ever loved me as I loved him, he could have left me the way he did. He met my gaze, unflinching, though I felt his heel jiggling up and down through the table’s thick metal base and pedestal, where I rested my feet. He might appear calm and collected, but this conversation—my response—mattered to him.A lot.
“Would you be willing to get to know me again?” he asked.
“Why, Paxton?” I asked. “Why now? Why ask this of me?”
He went completely still. “Because I’ve been absolutely miserable without you, Han. I can’t keep pretending I don’tneedyou with every single breath.”
Chapter5
Paxton
Ipaid for our partially eaten meals soon after my heartfelt statement because Hana had fallen silent once more.
“I need to think about what you said. What you want. WhatIwant,” she told me as we exited the restaurant. Her limp had become more pronounced. I wanted to ask her about it, but I doubted she wanted to rehash more of our past right now.
We were both raw.
A group of hockey fans who must have been waiting converged on me then, asking for autographs and photos. Hana slipped away—once again taking my heart with her.
I wished I could have expressed how much she meant to me, but I hadn’t gotten through to her. Not really. That had to do with my father, his manipulations—hisreasons, my mother had said—but I didn’t have a clue why he was so adamant that we stay apart.
A few minutes later, I caught a glimpse of Hana as she stood at the edge of the parking lot, her head tilted to the side as she watched me interact with the group of ten or so college students. I’d managed to text Cruz, and he’d replied that he’d pick me up. I was thankful when he arrived. I caught Hana’s eyes and tipped my head toward the car, asking silently if she wanted a ride. She shook her head, relief sweeping over her features before she ducked her head to hide the expression.
I told my fans goodbye and pulled myself into the rental car, slamming the door shut with a thud.
“How’d it go?” Cruz asked.
“I’m not sure. I may have overplayed my hand,” I replied. My stomach was still knotted, and I shook out my arms, struggling with the tension pulsing through my muscles.
Cruz pursed his lips and stared out the window for a moment before he shook his head. “By being honest? Doubt it. That’s your girl, right?”
“Yeah. Well, she’s not mine. She’s not sure she wants to be, and after what she told me today, I get it.”Fuck, did I get it. “But at least she’s not with the skinny shit.”
Cruz rumbled. “That’s something. Hang on, I’ll do you a solid.”
Before I could ask what he meant, Cruz hopped from the car and strode toward Hana. He offered her his hand and gestured toward where I sat. She answered, confusion tugging at her straight, black brows. Her skin glowed in the sunlight.
She took my breath away. She always had, and in this moment, I knew she always would.
Cruz pulled out a card and handed it to her. She took it and stared. Then she lifted her head and met my gaze. She held there before she returned her attention to Cruz. Whatever she said made him smile. He gave her a gentle cuff on the shoulder before he headed back to me.
