I cupped his cheeks with my hands.“I don’t think it’s smart for me to take a two day old on a plane.But I can give you these last moments with her.Please, Luka.Please go to her.I don’t want you to regret not seeing her…”
His frown deepened.“The way your voice broke—you’re thinking about your mom.”
I nodded.“I didn’t get to see her at the end.My dad wouldn’t let me go to the hospital.I never got to say…” I inhaled, exhaled slowly.Closed my eyes and waited for the threat of tears to dissipate enough for me to lift my head and meet Luka’s gaze again.“I was thinking about how excited she’d be for us.To meet Bree.”
“Alyssa’s been psyched about having a baby to spoil.”
A poignant bubble burst in my chest.I wanted that for Luka, for Bree.I rested my head against him and squeezed my eyes shut.“I’ll miss you.”
“Give me the other words,” he said.
“They’re hard for me,” I whispered.“I haven’t ever said them to a man.”
“That’s why they’ll help me get through our separation.”
I inhaled, trying not to think about the boys I’d fucked to finally feel closeness.“I love you, Luka.”
His arms banded around me.“I love you, too.And I’m psyched as hell to get married.”
I smiled.“Dr.Lopez said I shouldn’t have sex for at least two months.”
“I know.”
“Do you want to wait for that?I mean, for a wedding night?”My cheeks burned.
“Do you?”
“I…”
“We’ve had a glorious night of sheet-ripping passion,” Luka said.“I can wait a little while for another one.”
“When?”I gaped.“Did wereallyrip the sheets?”
His lips twitched, but the sadness in them remained.“Don’t worry.I bought Naese new ones.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” I mumbled.
“Should.It’s mighty hard to tatter up five-hundred-thread-count imported cotton.”
I took a deep breath.“Okay, so wedding soon.”
“Yes to the wedding soon.”He looked at me a long moment and raised an eyebrow.“But don’t decide we have an expiration date while I’m away.”
Chapter14
Luka
“What do you mean?”she asked.
“We’ll have to figure out what happens when your maternity leave ends,” I told her.“Then you’ll take my daughter across the world, right in the middle of the season, so I have no chance of seeing her?”
Her face fell.“I don’t know.I can’t—Luka, don’t ask me…”
Her expression appeared tortured, but I was being tortured.If she still intended to leave Houston, to take Bree away, I’d miss weeks, possibly months of her life.Dammit.I didn’t want to leave her.Not now.We had to sort this out.Plus, I was worried about her health and Bree’s, but I was also selfish and wanted to bask in the affection she offered me, keep her close so she wouldn’t think about leaving.
I needed a minute to collect myself before I did something utterly stupid like drop to my knees and beg, or threaten something I didn’t mean.Now wasn’t the time to make those kinds of decisions anyway.I headed down the hall, trying to clear my mind.
Millie and I weren’t as different as I’d thought.She was starved for love, just as I was.With Bree, we’d be afamily.Stronger together.I needed to get Millie to see that.And I needed help.Millie’s father would keep trying to take Bree from us.I chewed on my lip, considering my options.
