He settled me in the car, and we made our trip to the ER in silence.
The middle-aged woman who greeted us with a friendly handshake and serene smile got me into a room with shocking speed.
“I’m Dr.Lopez.Keelie called me.I’m her obstetrician.She asked if I could examine you tonight.Luckily, I was on call, and I’m more than happy to help that lovely lady out.”
“Keelie’s great,” Luka said, his voice tense.When I couldn’t seem to find my voice, he summarized my health history.Dr.Lopez nodded along.
“Well, let’s get you checked out,” she said.With a lifted eyebrow, she turned to Luka.“And would you like some ice for your testicles?”
He shifted in his chair, his face a flaming red, so I was surprised when he nodded.“Pretty sore,” he muttered, shooting me a look.
“I bet.Quite the heroic move.”Dr.Lopez smiled as she pulled one of those crunch-activated ice packs from a drawer.She handed it to Luka, who laid it on his crotch.“You got yourself a good one,” she told me.
I met Luka’s gaze over her head as she pulled out a paper gown.Is he mine?
He’d said he wanted to be, but I’d been such a brat today.And we still needed to talk.He deserved the full story about my family and my history, not just dribbles I let slip because I couldn’t hide them any longer.
I just couldn’t believe in his goodness.He seemed surreal.Too good to be true.
Especially given his past.
Especially because he was a professional athlete.
Especially because I wanted to find fault, so I didn’t have to put myself out there.
“I love you.”
I closed my eyes as I laid down on the exam table.
Dr.Lopez checked Bree’s heart—“Great!”—that caused my muscles to go lax, and I opened my eyes, meeting Luka’s gaze.He reached out and squeezed my hand.I exhaled a trickle at a time, so thankful for his support.
Dr.Lopez wheeled in the cart for another sonogram.“All is well with the baby…” Dr.Lopez stopped and showed us the intact placenta.“With your bleeding, we’re concerned about a tear, but the lack of amniotic fluid is very positive.”
I understood why Keelie liked this woman.She took her time, making sure we understood each new revelation, each health-related question, before moving on.
“Ah…”
“What does that mean?”Luka asked, panic leeching the color from his face.
I fumbled over, grasping his hand, squeezing it, trying to let him know he wasn’t alone.That I loved him, too.I was simply too chicken to say the words.
“Give me just a moment,” Dr.Lopez said.
After a pelvic exam, she scooched her chair back and Luka helped me sit up.He threaded his fingers through mine, and I nearly cried at the comfort of his touch.A fleeting thought of how I’d avoided touch for years tried to snag my consciousness, but Dr.Lopez finished typing and met my gaze.
“So, I have good news, which you already know: Bree is healthy.In fact, she’s great.”
My breath whooshed out in a gush of relief.
Dr.Lopez’s lips twitched.“I also have some maybe not so good news.”She peered at me, her expression stern.“You can’t fly.In fact, you really need to be on bed rest for the duration of your pregnancy.”
“What?Why?”
“Because your placenta is thinning and your blood pressure is elevated, which puts you at high risk for preeclampsia.That could be from the fall or from other stressors, but bottom line: getting on a plane, doing anything more than growing your baby, puts her and you at risk.”
“But…” I searched for something grounding, something I could break down and reconfigure like I normally would, but my mind was too chaotic to concentrate on the molecular structure of anything in the room.Instead, I stared at my shaking hands until Luka settled his fingers over mine.He wiggled his way in and linked his long fingers between my smaller ones.
My breathing slowed, evened out.I could focus again.I shuddered out a breath as I held on to Luka’s hand.
