“Dillon wasn’t Ida Jane’s best decision,” I muttered.He’d hurt her, scared her, tried to control her.What kind of sad sack of shit needed to do that to another person?
At least he was now in jail, hopefully getting some of his own treatment from the other inmates.That was my dream, anyway.I hadn’t gotten that type of closure with Trent.
She turned toward me and smiled.“You did, too, hon.”Her lip curled.“That ex of yours was cut from the same cloth as Ida Jane’s.I’m so glad you girls got sense and dumped those losers.”
I nodded and made an encouraging sound.Mrs.Barlow was right.Ida Jane and I had spent our college years and after with really terrible men.Maybe it had been youth or naivete or—who knew?But Ida Jane had definitely moved up in the world.
I had, too.Luka was a good man.
What was I supposed to say to him?I couldn’t tell him no one had said they loved me since my mother’s death when I was twelve.Well, besides Ida Jane.But no one in my family.
“Since you’re already holding your bouquet, hon,” Loreen said, “would you give this one to Ida Jane?”She pushed a lusher one into my hands.
I buried my nose in its sweetness, enjoying the beautiful scents and soft petals.For something made up of ninety-five percent hydrogen, oxygen, and carbon, flowers were pretty amazing.So many different textures, shapes, scents—all from five percent of their molecular makeup, what they absorbed from the ground.
I’d absorbed my father’s unloving disinterest, then Trent’s.Was it possible that I could uproot myself and resettle in Luka’s garden?Find a more nourishing environment?
Did I deserve that chance?
I hadn’t told him I loved him back.Because I was scared…and still too afraid to have my heart crushed again to admit my feelings.
That didn’t mean they weren’t there.
They were, and I swallowed down the weight of the words, of my emotions, with every single breath.I’d been alone for so long, fighting one battle just to be a person, and another to claw my way back from terrible mistakes, all because I wanted someone to love me.
Luka did.So he said.
I yearned to believe him.
But Icouldn’t.Not fully.Because my father didn’t, and my mother had said she did, but then she left me.Trent’s only reason for proposing marriage was to get his hands on my family’s money—the hard reality was he’d never, ever wantedme.
I’d been unwanted since I was a kid, and it was a terribly lonely feeling.
Sure, I had Ida Jane, and Bree, …and Luka.I might not think I deserved him, but he was part of my life now.Always.Because of Bree.I gathered the bouquets in one hand so I could place the other on my belly, caressing my daughter.She’d changed so much of my life.
The flowers trembled in my hand.I hated Trent and my father.Detested them.Never wanted to share space or give them a chance to hurt me again.
But neither Trent nor my father would be here at Cormac’s today, and I could slip back out of town before my father tracked me down.Tonight.I’d leave right after the wedding.
One day, Luka would forgive me.
I hoped.
Chapter11
Luka
Millie’s hip brushed my leg and her luscious breast rubbed against my arm as she walked gracefully across the grass toward the arbor Keelie and the other wives and girlfriends, which the Wildcatters called CATS, had set up.
I was so fucking angry with her I could barely see straight, but that didn’t stop me from noting her voluptuous beauty.
“What’s that?”Millie asked.
“I said you look stunning.I thought it before but didn’t say it.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, staring down at her bouquet.
She was like trying to milk a grain of rice.I turned away.Cormac’s backyard looked like a flower shop had barfed across it.The decorations were abundant, perfect for an outdoor wedding, especially the fairy lights around the trees.
