There wasn’t a professional hockey league in Sri Lanka.And it wasn’t like I could just go down to the local ice rink and get a job as the ice manager.I didn’t even know what that job entailed.I just knew how to skate and score goals.
That was a very limited skill set.One that made me millions of dollars, but still, that was only into my thirties if I was lucky.
“So today’s the big day,” the doctor said with a smile.“I’m assuming Dad’s here to find out your baby’s gender.”
“Yes,” I crowed.“I’m excited.”
“He traveled from Houston to be here for this,” Millie added.She smiled up at me from the exam table.
The doctor whistled.“That’s a long flight.Well, let’s find out so you can celebrate.”
And start planning.I kept that thought to myself.
The doctor scooted back, and a lab technician rolled in a sonogram machine.She took about a million measurements, all of which told her whether our baby was growing well.Then, she said the four words that caused my emotions to squeeze my throat closed, even though I’d expected them: “Congratulations!It’s a girl!”
Millie met my gaze, her eyes shining with emotion.Before I could think better of it or stop myself, I kissed her.She made a startled sound even as her lips clung to mine.
“Thank you,” I murmured.“I can’t wait to introduce our daughter to the guys.They’ll love her.”
Millie disengaged from me, turning her back to hop off the exam table.“I need to get dressed.”
She was doing it again; she pulled away whenever I mentioned my teammates, or Houston.
“I’ll be in the waiting room,” I said, shoving down my hurt.
When Millie appeared a few minutes later, I was pretty sure she’d been crying.But the duck of her head and the speed with which she scampered past me made it clear she didn’t want me to mention it—nor did she want to talk to me.
“When do you need to get to the airport?”she asked as she stood next to me in the lobby, waiting for a car.
“I have a few hours,” I said.“We can get lunch—”
“I should go to the office.I’ve already been away longer than I planned.”
I gritted my teeth.“I’d really like to spend the few hours I have with you.You could show me your favorite spot in the city, or we could hit that market I saw on the drive to your place.”
“I…I should really get to work.”She fidgeted, unable to meet my eyes.“Just so you know, I’m having Bree here, in Sri Lanka.We’re living here.But you’re welcome to visit.”
A sleek car pulled up outside the building, and a driver came around to open the door.Millie hurried outside.I followed more slowly so I had a moment to push down my frustration.Everything had been going so well.At least, I’d thought it was.But Millie was fixated on a path I couldn’t join, and that hurt.
“My season runs nine months out of the year, sometimes longer with exhibition games and the playoffs,” I said as I moved into the car next to her.“But I want to be involved.”I hesitated.“I wasn’t close to my parents, and I don’t want my—our child to have experience.You know, to wonder if she’s loved.”
I reached for Millie’s hand, only to realize she’d squished herself tightly against the other door—to make herself less of a target?Did she think I’d hurt her?
My frustration morphed into horror.The driver entered the car and looked back at us questioningly.As I debated what to do—try to push Millie into lunch or at least into going back to her apartment where we could talk—she told the driver to head to the airport.
Well, that told me where I stood.In Millie’s eyes, I was just the sperm donor, just an irritant she’d have to put up with from time to time.
“I have to keep Bree here, Luka.I know you don’t understand, but there’s no way she can go to Houston.Ever.”
“Why?”
She looked down at her clasped hands, and I noted how tightly she squeezed them.Even hurt and angry with her, I wanted to soothe her, to unclasp her hands and hold one while I helped her work through her fear.
Instead, I sat next to her, taut with nerves, as she stared down at her lap.She didn’t say another word until we pulled up at the terminal.
Then she looked up at me, her eyes filled with remorse and yearning.She reached out, her fingers trembling as she touched my jaw.
“Goodbye, Luka.”
