“Need any help?”I asked.
“You’re going to be busy with a kid,” he reminded me.
I sighed.“Not if I can’t talk Millie into sharing custody.”
“Then you better come up with a plan to do that.”
I spread my hands on my knees, fingers as wide as they could go.“I’m not sure I want to.”
Cruz glared at me so hard I was sure my skull cracked.“You don’t want to be part of the kid’s life?”
When a car horn blared, he turned back to the road, just missing a couple of parked vehicles.
“Oh, I’m definitely going to be part of my kid’s life.”I cleared my throat.“Millie thinks the baby’s a girl.”
Cruz chuckled.“That would be something—you with a sweet little baby girl.”
I shot him a look.“My daughter’s going to know I love her and want her and all that shit.I’m just not sure we should split custody.I mean, that messes kids up, moving back and forth between houses and friends and all that weirdness.I’d rather be an everyday part of my girl’s life.”
Cruz grunted.“That might be harder, especially if your baby’s mom is on the other side of the world.”
“Believe me, I know.”
I might not even get to my kid’s sonogram, and that bothered me.I needed to show Millie, our baby, myself, that I was all in.Whydid she move so damn far away?
“Any ideas about what you’ll do?”Cruz asked.
Well, the thought of having a girl was growing on me, for one.But that wasn’t what he was asking.
I tried to ground myself as worries spun through my mind.I knew what I wanted—Millie in my life and my bed, our baby in her room down the hall.But Millie didn’t seem amenable to that, and I didn’t know how to talk her into it.It wasn’t like I planned to give up my job; I loved hockey, and I made great money, thanks to the lucrative contract my agent had put together when I was drafted.
I had to assume Millie didn’t want to give up her job or her career.And it was in Sri Lanka—not a great way for us to share dinner at the table whenever I was in town.
“None.”
“Talk to Coach,” Cruz suggested.“He might help out.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and grunted, hating the idea of getting Coach involved in my personal life.Not after our last “talk.”
“Seriously, Coach knows stuff,” Cruz said.
“Yeah, he’s great at reaming asses.”
“Well, you have been playing like shit for weeks now,” Cruz said.
I winced.He wasn’t wrong.“Maybe I need some positive reinforcement.Ever thought of that?”
“Nah, man.”Cruz shook his head.“We’ve coddled you long enough.You need a fire lit under your ass.Maybe the kid thing is it for you.”
Cruz pulled into our parking garage, and I jumped out of the truck, not interested in a lecture on my shortcomings.“See you tomorrow,” I called over my shoulder as I slammed the door.If Cruz responded, I didn’t hear him.
By the time I made it up to my place, I’d worked myself into a lather about the whole situation.It was only then that I realized I’d left my tacos in the truck.My stomach rumbled, but I had more pressing matters.
I knewnothingabout kids, especially girls.I’d never planned to have a child of my own.Didn’twantone.Not after my childhood.My parents weren’t abusive or evil; they were eccentric.Or that’s what Alyssa called them, but I’d never understood them at all.They rolled along together simply because it caused less friction, but they never married and never seemed particularly interested in each other’s lives, let alone mine.They rarely attended my hockey games, nor did they make my high school graduation, my draft day, or any day of importance inmylife.It hadn’t mattered to them because, as they’d told me for as long as I could remember, “We’re people, too, Luka.And we have our own lives.”
And their own lives rarely meshed with mine.We never sat down to family dinner at my house.I could probably count the number of times on one hand.My mom got me into hockey because the kids on the street played, and it meant she only had to drive the carpool once a week.
If I wanted a home-cooked meal and a caring hug, I headed down the street to Mike’s house and hoped his loud, swearing mom didn’t mind adding another place at the table.She hadn’t, and over time I became one of Alyssa Romeo’s favorite kids.She’d collected all of us from the neighborhood who hadn’t had enough supervision.
