“Intense. Broody. From what I can tell, a Russian, through and through.”
I dropped my hand into Blade’s fur. “He’s never said he love—cares about me. Or even that he wants to stay married.” I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation with Stol.Wait.
Why had Stol been outside on a muggy evening? “You were waiting for me,” I gasped.
“Yeah, I was. A total creeper move, I know, but, again, he’s so tied up in you, he can’t really think straight. It’s affecting his game, and Maxim has always been one of the most solid guys on the team. The playoffs start this week and—”
I narrowed my eyes. “Is that really why you’re here?”
Stol shuffled his feet. “No. Millie told me she’s pregnant.”
I sighed. “Finally.”
“I don’t know what she wants from me. She said she’d do it all herself…” He swallowed, his expression troubled and eyes shadowed. “I hate that idea. I—I want the chance to be a father to my kid.”
“Then tell her that.”
Why did everyone else’s problems appear so easy to fix? I sucked in a breath, realizing I needed to take my own advice. My insecurities kept me from being totally vulnerable with Maxim, so in a way, I wasn’t being honest either.
Dread settled in my midsection. I wasn’t sure I could do it.
“Yeah. Yeah. I will. But put in a good word for me, okay? Tell her I haven’t been fuc—er, messing around since she left. Ireallylike her, Ida Jane. I want to see what we can be. For us, but for the baby, too.”
I laid a hand on his forearm and squeezed. “I have and I will again. Millie’s…been hurt.”
“So have most of us,” Stol responded, his frustration evident.
I sucked in a breath, knowing Millie would rail against me for this, but Stol was still interested, even though her lack of communication upset him. “No, she’s beenhurt.”
His expression shifted as understanding dawned. He shut his eyes briefly.
“She doesn’t do relationships. Not anymore.”
“Because of her ex who hurt her.” Anguish rippled across his expression. “I’m going crazy here, trying not to imagine all the worst-case scenarios.”
Much as I wanted to allay Stol’s worries, I’d already said more than Millie would like. “It’s not my story to tell, but she’s slow to trust. She thought she knew him.”
Actually, that sounded a lot like my relationship with Dillon. I frowned.
“And, just speaking for me, when you think you know someone, and they hurt you…” I raised my hand to my healed cheek. “Then, you wonder if the problem is reallyyou. You worry your instincts are bad—if any of the decisions you make are right.”
Stol tilted his head, thoughtful. “She’s afraid of herself.”
That reverberated deep in my heart. “Yeah. She’s afraid.”I’m afraid. “To love you.”Like I’m terrified to love Maxim.I quit pretending I was talking about Millie and him. “Because if something bad happens, if Maxim doesn’t love me, then I was right. I’m not a good judge of character. I’m not worthy of love.”
Stol shifted his feet. “I get your point.”
I shook my head with a little laugh that was more of a release of tension. “Don’t chase her, don’t even contact her, unless you mean to be there for her as she works through…all this.”
“I hear ya.” He nodded. “Okay. Let me walk you home,” he said.
We were almost at the gate when Stol said, “Maxim would do just about anything for his team. We’re his family. But here’s the thing: he won’t give upyouforus. He won’t even come to our typical barbecues or whatever unless you agree to join. He even bought you that killer dog.”
I shielded my fur baby’s ears. “Blade isn’t a killer.”
Stol shook his head, clearly having reached his limit. “If you’d just actually see what he’s doing.”
He’s showing me that he cares for me—not just saying the words I’mdesperateto hear.
