I stared down at my beautiful shoes. I’d been so excited to wear them, and I’d felt powerful in them. What a farce. Stella’s comment stung because I was just a pass-through moment for Maxim. A necessary point in his career whereas I’d started thinking about a future with him.
Keelie leaned her head against my shoulder. “I know.”
Naomi circled her arms around my waist as she dropped her chin onto the top of my head.
“I don’t know what to do. What to believe,” I whispered.
“What feels right?” Naomi asked.
I stared down at my hands, which lay face up in my lap. I still wore my pretty gown, but it was crumpled now, thanks to my incessant plucking at the fabric. I’d gotten too tired to even continue that nervous habit. Everything hurt, especially my heart.
This evening had started with such promise, and now…now I hurt worse than when I found out Dillon had lied and cheated. I knew why, too: I’d never loved Dillon like I loved Maxim.
Keelie and Naomi rose after a door slammed and voices drifted into the room. I lifted my head and watched Cormac hug Keelie and Adam stalk Naomi, tugging her into his arms and whispering into her ear. Both of my friends melted into their men.
They had love—the sticking kind. I was glad for them.
Maxim entered my vision and I couldn’t look away. He appeared tormented, and my heart ached yet again. Love, for me, was nothing but pain, and I never wanted to go through this again.
* * *
“I’m taking you home,”Maxim said as he crouched in front of me.
“I don’t want to go.”
He laid his large hands on the cushions on either side of my legs. “I know.”
Adam led Naomi from the room, their faces somber. Cormac bent over Keelie, kissing her deeply. I didn’t want to stay here, either. At least Blade was at Maxim’s house.
“Fine,” I said. “But I’m sleeping upstairs.”
Maxim rose. “We’ll see.”
I let Maxim tug me to my feet.
“I already talked to Lance. He’s going to handle the whole Dillon, girlfriend, photos situation,” Maxim said.
“Okay.” I didn’t know what else to say.
Maxim must not have either because, once again, we made the car trip in silence. This time, it was a few blocks. I looked out the window, which reflected Maxim’s profile. He frowned—nothing new there—but there was a different tilt to his chin.
I closed my eyes, unable to handle more. If I’d known about his past, I would have been able to process my feelings, and I wouldn’t have been blindsided.But he hadn’t told me. Which made me wonder what else he was keeping from me.
“We’re home,” Maxim said as he shifted the car into Park.
Was it? I’d considered it mine, briefly, butwasit? I no longer knew. Crazy how one evening could so disrupt the foundations I had built my life on.
I stepped out of the car and headed inside and slipped off my shoes, uncaring where they landed. I never wanted to see them again. I tugged out my earrings with jerky movements, tossing them toward the kitchen counter. One missed and pinged as it hit the floor. I didn’t watch it slide across the tile. I started on my dress, needing it off. Suddenly, I was suffocating in these clothes.
“Stop. You’re clawing your skin. Stop, Ida Jane.”
I sucked in a harsh breath, the edges of my vision black. Maxim held my hands. I pulled them away. “Don’t.”
“I’ll just help you take off your dress. That’s all.”
“No. I don’t want you to touch me. You—you were with those women. All those women…” Again, my vision tunneled.
He reached up to cup my cheeks, but I batted his hands away.
