I gave myself last night, as short as it was, to enjoy her. Based on how much I wanted to spend more time with her already, any further interaction was foolhardy, but I wasn’t sure I had the willpower to stop.
More importantly, I couldn’t go back on the promise I’d made to Cruz…or to Ida Jane, though she didn’t yet know it.
* * *
Ida Jane
“I toldStolly that we’d go to his teammate’s birthday party tonight,” Millie said from her spot on the couch where I’d just plopped down next to her. “I thought you’d be happy to see Maxim Dolov again. You liked him; we both had fun on Tuesday. So what’s the problem, Idge?”
Millie had called me Idge, as a shortening of Ida Jane, years ago. I hated the nickname because it rhymed with fridge, something my brothers found hilarious, but I also disliked the mouthful of syllables that was my entire name.
“Don’t call me that, and I don’t want to go.”
I so did want to go, but I refused to admit it because I didn’t appreciate the itchiness of anxiety percolating under my skin. Staring out the large panes of glass at Houston in the late afternoon, I admitted to myself that I’d enjoyed my evening with Maxim Dolov and didn’t want to taint the memory. I already managed to do that because after his flirty texts that morning, I’d looked him up, unsurprised by the sophisticated and beautiful women he’d occasionally escorted to various events. A different womaneverytime, which told me everything I needed to know about his beliefs in relationships. He didn’t want one.
I sighed as jealousy and self-consciousness battled.
“I’m thinking about getting a cat,” I said.
“You’re a dog person. Stop changing the subject.” Millie pushed her glasses back up her nose. “I want to see Stolly again.”
I flopped onto my side and gaped. Millie only went out with men she knew well, which meant mostly from the dojo. After Trent, she refused to date anyone even slightly related to her work. She had a type—muscular and sexy—but she didn’t act on it often.
“You’readmitting you’re attracted to him?”
Millie remained calm, as if we were discussing which type of pasta best held sauce. “Of course I am! He’s a hot hockey player. He’s also funny and charming. What’s not to like?”
“Um…the fact that he outweighs you by a good hundred pounds of muscle.” My lips twisted.
“Look, Idge. I don’t want to sit at home on my last Friday night in the States and watch reruns ofOutlander. Again.”
The cushion on the couch became very interesting, and I traced my finger along the pattern. “I texted with Maxim today. He didn’t invite me.”
“But Stol invitedboth of us, so you’re good. Stop throwing a damn pity party and just enjoy this new opportunity. For me, but more so for you.”
“Fine,” I sighed. “But if I feel uncomfortable, we leave.”
“Maybe.”
“You’re supposed to supportmein this.”
“I do support you when you’re being rational, but Maxim got to you, likereallygot to you, on the same night you realized you have shit taste in men. I get it—you’re worried Maxim will be like Dillon. But he’s not because very few people are as gross as Dillon. Look, we both have terrible mistakes in our pasts, right?”
“Not really. I wasn’t—”
“Don’t,” Millie said, her voice quiet but absolute. “Trent and Dillon are cut from the same narcissistic, entitled cloth.”
I swallowed, hating to think she was right and unable to disprove her comment. Millie turned back to the nature documentary she’d been watching while I fumed.
“Oh, stop it,” Millie said without glancing over at me.
“Stop what?” I asked.
“Stop thinking you’re going to get your way. I’m not one of your brothers who’ll cave just because of a lip quiver.”
I pressed my lips together, annoyed, because Millie called it true. There were times when I’d been overly dramatic—I’d been the only girl with four brothers, three of whom were older. Tears and pouting worked on my brothers. So, I wielded my weapons, which often got better results than roughhousing or fists, mainly because I couldn’t keep up with the rough-and-tumble play my brothers preferred. They’d always been bigger than me.
I’d gone into psychology to understand why. I came out with a master’s degree because I wanted to help other people identify why they behaved the way they did. The human mind fascinated me.
