He scooped up the butter and slathered it on the top of her wimple.“Don’t ye think ye should have told mebeforewe…” He too was unwilling to finish the sentence.
“Ye knew ye were ne’er goin’ to marry me, ye bein’ who ye are,” she said.Now her voice was breaking, and she was miserable.She grabbed her slice of roast and dropped it down the front of his cassock.
“Marry?”the abbess blurted.“Who’s talkin’ about marryin’?”
Adam groaned with disgust as the roast slid down his chest and caught just above the cincture at his waist.
Eve continued.“Ye should ne’er have let me…” She shook her head, remembering their first tryst.
“Let ye?That’s not how I remember it.”
That wasn’t how she remembered it either.She’d practically thrown herself at him.Still, it was unforgivable of him to bring it up in front of everyone.
All she could do in her defense was splash her cider in his face.
He sputtered in surprise and tossed his head, shaking the cider droplets from his beard.Then, with a narrow and determined gaze, he picked up his cup to return the favor.
Eve ducked out of the path just in time.The wave of cider sloshed past her and smacked into the face of the abbess.
For one terrible moment, time stopped.The abbess’s face was frozen in a grimace of alarm and disgust.The nuns were petrified.The only sound in the room was the faint drip of ale rolling off the abbess’s quivering chin onto the table.
Eve held her breath.
She expected the abbess would rise with injured dignity and speak in an imperial voice, commanding Adam to be gone and Eve to return to her cell.
Never in a million years did she expect the abbess to seek vengeance.
The indignant old woman swept up her own cup of ale in one angry claw and tossed its contents toward Adam.
Unfortunately, her aim was not very accurate.A small portion splashed his brow.The rest splattered onto the nun beyond him.
The sister across the table from her broke into peals of laughter, which caused the affronted nun to throw half a buttered roll at her.The roll bounced off of her and landed on the bosom of the sister beside her.That sister shrieked in outrage, casting one parsnip at the tosser and another at the giggler for good measure.
Then the battle was on.One offended sister took revenge on the next.Smearing custard on veils.Pouring cider over wimples.Wiping verjuice on habits.
Soon the air was filled with flying neeps and sailing salat.Bounding rolls and hurled coffyns.Parsnips and pears flung like missiles from a catapult.The Refectory echoed with shrill screams of insult punctuated by raucous shouts of triumph.
All the while, even though for all intents and purposes, she’d started the melee, the abbess yelled, “Stop!Stop it, I say!”
It was no use.Chaos reigned.And Eve still had matters to settle.
“Ye deserted me,” she shouted over the crowd, prodding Adam in the chest.“Ye let me believe ye wanted to marry me, and then ye left to spy for the king.”
He grabbed her finger to stop her pokes.“Ye let me believe ye wanted to marryme.But once ye were given the chance, ye went straight back to the convent.”
She snatched her finger away.“Ye betrayed me.Ye told me ye were goin’ to help me find justice for the alewife.But ye ne’er intended to help at all, did ye?”
“I did help her,” he said, snapping up a napkin to dry his beard.“I gave the alewife my reward.”
“Your reward for what?”she said, dodging a half-eaten roll someone threw.“Capturin’ me and tellin’ the king I was Fergus’s ‘spy’?”
A stray splat of custard hit his shoulder.“For endin’ the war.”
She grew still.“Ye ended the war?”
“Aye.Why do ye think I’m here now?”
“The siege is o’er?”That was admittedly impressive.
