That’s what the missive she’d left for him said.
She felt she owed him more of an explanation than that.But she couldn’t say more without revealing her identity.And she needed to make a clean break of it.To forget him if she could.
Her heart was heavy as she plodded along the path.
It had seemed so clear yesterday—as she held the wee bairn in her arms and felt his precious life slip away—that she was being punished.God had shown her the cost of violating her vows.It could be nothing else.She’d sinned, and the price of her sin was a life.Now that life would be her cross to bear.
She should have felt the satisfaction of penance today.She had prayed this morn, renewed her vows, and asked for absolution.Now she’d removed herself from temptation.She planned to return to the convent straightaway to devote herself with new vigor to the church.
Why then did she still feel so uncertain of her decision?
Because being in Adam’s arms made her feel like she was in the embrace of an angel.Kissing him had been tasting ambrosia.Touching him, flesh to flesh, had made her spirit sing.Coupling with him, she’d soared to heaven and seen the face of God.
How could such a stirring act of love and devotion not be God’s will?
It had felt like a miracle.Now she understood why the abbess spoke against it so vehemently as a distraction from one’s Holy Purpose.
It was a distraction.But was that so bad?Now, even worse than creating a lifetime of insatiable thirst for pleasure of the flesh, her heart ached as she realized a terrible truth.
She loved Adam.
Of course she would miss his kiss, his touch, his body.
Eventually, she supposed that longing would fade.She would forget how his smile quickened her pulse.How his glance heated her blood.How the brush of his fingers inflamed her senses.
But his companionship?Without that, she was going to be absolutely bereft.
Without his wit, his laughter, his passion, her life would be dull.Meaningless.Empty.
It had taken only a few days.But it was enough.Her heart belonged to him.
The tears welled in her eyes, blurring the trees lining the path.But she could hear the trickle of a burn ahead where she could get a drink of water and wash her face.
She dared not linger, of course.She knew he would try to follow her.And he would have the advantage of being on horseback.
But he’d been sleeping peacefully when she left.At least she supposed he was at peace.Though she had to wonder how that was possible when he snored like an ox.
Her lips curved into a trembling smile.The fond memory made her eyes fill even more.
She stopped beside the burn, setting aside her satchel.Then she hunkered down to splash her face with the bracing water.
With her eyes squeezed closed, she groped for the satchel, intending to use the linen rag she kept on top to dry her face.It wasn’t there.Instead, she felt something made of leather, a bit of knobby fabric, a pair of scissors.
She frowned.Then she remembered Adam had dumped out the contents rather haphazardly yesterday to search for her mint.He’d probably been just as careless returning them to her satchel.
She opened one eyelid to take a better look.
Then both eyes flew open.
It wasn’t her satchel.
It was Adam’s.
In the dark, she must have picked up the wrong one.
“Shite,” she hissed, forgetting for a moment she was dressed as Sister Eve.
Now what would she do?
