Nay.That wasn’t right.It was supposed to be Hew.Sir Hew of Rivenloch.She didn’t even know Gellir.There must be some mistake.
She read on.But every mention of the bridegroom said Gellir.Hew’s name appeared nowhere on the document.
Though she felt an uneasy queasiness in her gut, she couldn’t help but assume it was a mistake.Someone had gotten the cousins’ names mixed up.That was all.
She scrolled down to the bottom of the page.Laird Deirdre of Rivenloch’s signature was affixed to the document.Surely she knew the difference between her son and her nephew.She wouldn’t have accidentally promised the wrong woman to the heir of Rivenloch.
Her heart slowly sank to the bottom of her chest and remained there, as if heavy iron anchored it to the shadowy depths.When she lifted her gaze to her father, for an instant she saw her own bleak hopelessness reflected in his eyes.
But then the cold, hard truth fell over his face like a steel visor.
A laird couldn’t be governed by empathy.A laird’s power depended upon loyalty—his clan’s to him and his to the crown.When it came to strategic alliances, the king knew best.And no amount of begging or negotiating or conniving would change that.
So as painful as it must have been for him to break her heart, her father straightened with pride, praising the king’s wisdom and congratulating Carenza on her successful match.
Carenza felt numb.
By all measures but one, itwasa successful match.Gellir was not only from a long line of warriors.He was the tournament champion of all Scotland.Instead of settling for the son of one of the Warrior Maids of Rivenloch, Carenza was wedding the son of Laird Deirdre herself.And when the Rivenloch clan chose a new laird, the responsibility would almost certainly fall to Gellir, making Carenza both the Lady of Rivenloch and the Lady of Dunlop.Their children would control the combined forces of Lowland and Highland warriors, securing the border for generations to come.
But that one measure—the measure of love—was all that mattered to Carenza.Her throat ached with betrayal, and her chest throbbed with heartbreak.Her eyes welled with hot tears, blurring her vision as she stared wordlessly up at her father.
He scowled once.Briefly.But she could read his expression.
He wanted her to understand this betrothal was a gift.An honor.A reward granted by the king.
To consider it anything less was disgraceful.
To accept it with anything other than gratitude was unseemly.
To welcome it with anything but the utmost enthusiasm was shameful.
As the daughter of the clan, Lady Carenza must proclaim her satisfaction with the king’s choice.She must be thankful for his great care in choosing her bridegroom.She must convince the clan she was delighted with his royal decree.
Yet how could she?
For the first time in her life, Carenza couldn’t mask her feelings.Her control slipped.Her brow crumpled.Her lower lip quivered.Heartache spilled over her eyes and trickled down her cheek.
Her father’s brow darkened, and he swiftly pulled her into the shadows of the buttery before the clan could see her.
She was sure he was going to chastise her.Lady Carenza was supposed to be the clan’s ray of sunshine.Their inspiration.Their joy.She wasn’t supposed to frown or weep, show anger or cause unease.
But he didn’t chide her.He only held her by the shoulders and regarded her with tired, sad eyes.
“I know ye’re fond o’ Hew,” he murmured.“I am as well.And if ’twere in my power to give ye your heart’s desire, I’d do so.Ye know that, aye?”
She nodded.But his kind words only made her sob more.
“But I can tell ye this.Rivenloch is beyond reproach.They’re a clan o’ great integrity and honor.Deep loyalty and courage.If Sir Gellir is half the man that Hew has proved himself to be, ye’ll not be unhappy in this marriage.”
He was wrong.She would never be happy.Not while the one she loved with all her heart was not hers to have and hold.
She wouldfeignto be content.It was what was expected of her.It was what hadalwaysbeen expected of her.She would smile and nod, act gracious and grateful, amplify her small joys and hide her deep disappointments.
But she would never be happy.
As she’d always known, her life was not her own.
For a brief sliver of time, Hew had made her believe she could express her own desires, follow her own dreams, dance to her unique music.He had made her feel as if she were worthy, by virtue of simply being herself.
