But their love had nothing to do with what others saw.The mask she wore as the well-behaved laird’s daughter was not her true self.And it was the freedom and vulnerability to be exactly who she was without judgment—with all her naked flaws and faults, her shortcomings and her sins, her insecurities and her waywardness—that made their bond precious.
He pressed a fond kiss to her knuckles and smoothed her skirts back down over her legs before he stood to adjust his own clothing.
She stole a glance before he began to lace up his braies.Though his anatomy was as intriguing as ever, his proud lance had diminished now.
She felt a pang of regret.Hew had ignited in her the most beautiful bonfire.She still felt the ashes of passion drifting down around her.But she hadn’t been able to grant him the same gift.Time had run out, and now the moment was past.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured.
He paused mid-lace.“Sorry?For what?”He looked wary, as if he thought she might be sorry for engaging in such behavior.
But nothing could be further from the truth.
“I’m sorry I could not repay ye in kind.”
He resumed lacing, and a wee smile played around his lips.“I assure you, ’twas nigh as pleasurable for me as for you.”
She knew that couldn’t be true.But it was kind of him to say so.
“Still, I would like to—”
“We dare not,” he interjected, firmly but gently.“I should not even have done…” He paused to let his eyes graze longingly over her body.“What I did.”He shook his head.“I leave for Kildunan on the morrow.And now I’ve made my time away from you even more painful.”
“Then don’t go,” she blurted out, even though she knew that was a ridiculous request.
“I have to go.”He slipped his leine on over his head.“You know that.”
She lowered her eyes and nodded.
He reached out to cup her chin.“But not a moment will pass when I’m not thinking about you.About your bright eyes.Your sweet lips.Your tender touch.The way you feel in my arms.”He rubbed his thumb across her lower lip and murmured, “I’ll miss your kiss and the warmth of your heart next to mine.The softness of your breasts and the silkiness of your thighs.”He lowered his voice to a whisper.“The taste of your womanhood upon my tongue.”
She gulped.Already she craved him again.How would she survive two fortnights without him?How would she survive a day?
“We have to find a way,” she croaked.
“A way?”
“A way to meet.I shall come to Kildunan.”
He gave her a chuckle as he pulled his plaid over his shoulder.“We’re absolutely not trysting in a monastery.”
She didn’t share his humor.The thought of waiting so long to be intimate with him again was unimaginable.
“It wouldn’t have to be a tryst,” she decided.“Surely we can at least meet somewhere for…conversation.Perhaps in the village.”
“’Tis too great a risk,” he said ruefully.“Father James has his eye on me.And you, my lady, can’t go anywhere without an escort.The laird’s daughter meeting the stranger from the monastery in the village?”He shook his head.“The gossip will spread like wildfire.”
He was right.She knew it.But that didn’t change the way she felt.
“Och, Hew,” she said as tears welled in her eyes, “I can’t bear the thought o’ bein’ away from ye for so long.”She retrieved his brooch and came forward to pin his plaid.“How can fate be so cruel as to tear ye from my side when I’ve only just begun to love ye?”
Like a magical incantation, her words broke the last link of chain mail surrounding Hew’s heart, leaving it completely unprotected.Now she could hurt him.Now she could pierce it with Cupid’s arrow and leave him bleeding.
But as he always did, he couldn’t stop himself from wagering everything on his heart.His love for Carenza felt so unique, so pure, so true, he convinced himself this time things would be different.
And as always, when he felt this way—over his head in the deep ocean of romance—his judgment was faulty.
He should have told Carenza to be strong.To have patience.To remember that absence made the heart grow fonder.
