The walk back to Dunlop seemed miles shorter.Her step was so light and her mood so pleasant, she felt like she walked on air.
Indeed, as she carried her lit candle along the path, she had to remind herself that All Souls Day was a somber occasion.That perhaps she should be reflecting on those who had passed.Not grinning from ear to ear, obsessing over the man riding at the back of the clan on her palfrey.The Man She Loved.
Hew frowned in self-disgust.
Carenza didn’t love him.
And if he’d only controlled himself as he intended, if he’d only maintained his honor and refused her kiss, she’d realize that.
Now she’d never know it was lust and not love that lured her.It was the hunger of her body, not the hunger of her heart.
She was too young, too innocent to realize that.
But he wasn’t.He should have turned his head.Refused her.
It was what a gentleman of restraint and patience would have done.Hew, however, had never been able to act like a gentleman.He’d always let his passions take the reins.Sung Li, his aunt’s teacher, called himBaozhu,saying he was as volatile as the fireworks from the Orient.Quick to ignite.Quick to explode.And quick to extinguish.
That volatility was what had earned him so many broken hearts.And this time he’d wanted so badly not to make a mess of things.He’d wanted to go slowly.To be her friend first.Her confidant.Her champion.
Later, when he knew her heart belonged to him, he would show her a measure of physical affection.Then he would kiss her.Take her hand.Hold her in a fond embrace.
But nay, he’d let impatience get the best of him.Again.
Now he feared her interest was only infatuation.After all, desire was new and fresh and exciting for her.Lust was a dish of delicious sweets she’d never sampled before.And she’d naturally imagine herself in love with any man who brought her such sweets.
But she would tire of them eventually.They all did.When there was nothing substantial beneath the honeyed exterior—no affection in the kiss, no cherishing in the caress, no heart in the embrace—what was once sweet would seem empty and ordinary.
He didn’t want that to happen with Carenza.He cared for her too much.If she broke his heart, it would destroy him.Then he might as well join the holy order, for he would be unfit to be any woman’s husband.
It was his own fault.He knew that.Aye, she’d made the first move.But she was untried in the ways of romance.He should have taken responsibility and refused her kiss.
He sighed.
That would have been impossible.
Her kiss had been heavenly.Her lips as plump and succulent as a ripe cherry.Her breath soft and sweet as she gasped against his mouth.And her tongue… Holy Mary, her tongue touching his had set off a lightning bolt of pleasure.
Her fingers brushing his face—at first as lightly as the wings of a butterfly, then with the strength of desperation—had made him shiver with longing.
But it was the brazen crush of her body against his that had sent him past the realm of resistance.Even as he relished her soft curves and engaging warmth, even as his cock strained at its linen prison, he’d dreamed of what it would be like to wake up with her each morn, to have her in his arms and in his life.
He shifted in the saddle.It would do him no good to revisit the moment.It would only serve to frustrate his already aching loins.
There would be no satisfaction tonight.Or for many nights.
He had to keep temptation at bay.And the only way to do that was to keep her at a distance.
Unfortunately, all his good intentions didn’t even last a day.
Despite refusing the laird’s bedchamber and sleeping in the great hall with the rest of the clan, Hew woke to Lady Carenza’s lovely, smiling face.She crouched beside him the next morn with a bowl of steaming frumenty.
“I hope ye like cherries,” she said.
His gaze lowered reflexively to her lips.What he thought was,They couldn’t be as sweet and delicious as what I tasted yesterday.What he said was, “I do.Thank you.”
“Would ye like me to feed ye?”There was a subtle smokiness in her eyes.
He very much wanted that.To stare into her eyes as she slipped the spoon into his mouth.To lick the frumenty from it while holding her gaze.
