Iknew I’d shocked her. Hell, I’d dropped seventeen years of truth into her lap in one deep breath. But there was no elegant way to do what needed to be done, and it had to be done as efficiently as possible. I needed her to have all the details at once so we could move past whatever hurt and hate still lingered in her soft heart.
“You have a wife,” she said in that tight, barely restrained voice. She looked past me, gaze fixed on the door behind me.
“No,” I sighed. “Ihada wife. Sofia was killed in a car bomb four years ago.” I waited for a shocked gasp, a horrified scream, but none of that came. It wasn’t Ren’s style. She’d always been good at keeping her reactions tucked behind her ribs, but when she spoke, her voice was flat and wooden.
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
I shrugged off her words because I’d heard them too many fucking times for them to hold any meaning for me. “It wasn’t a love match, but necessity. Her family’s name still mattered in our world, but they needed cash. I gained their army, and they gained relevance.” I paused. “We were friends and partners, so thank you.” What the hell else could I say to this woman aboutSofia? That we’d only shared a bed long enough to make a child and that after several miscarriages we’d finally been rewarded with Matteo? That was too cruel.
Ren nodded, her gaze carefully blank. “You’re here and you need a nanny,” she said, not asked.
“Yes.”
She nodded once, mind churning behind her big blue eyes. “You didn’t know I was here or that Elite Nanny Service was me. You’re here because my company has a reputation for working with wealthy clients who value discretion.” She deflated a little, but a second later she sat taller, an icy determination masking her beautiful face. “Okay,” she answered an unspoken question in a clipped, businesslike tone as she pulled out sheets of paper. “You’ll need to fill out these forms first, and I’ll see if we have a nanny compatible with your needs.”
“Can’tyoudo it?”
She glared at me, frosty and sharp. “I am not a nanny, Enzo. I run this company.”
“I understand that,” I said. “But I know you. And I trust you with my son.”
“You don’t know me anymore.” It was a hit I deserved, but it still stung. “But youcantrust that I will find someone you can work with.” Her blue gaze held mine, refusing to bend despite the revelation of my identity.
I shook my head. “That’s not good enough, Ren.” The nickname slipped out, making her flinch. I leaned forward, palms braced on her desk, my voice pleading. “Now that I know you’re here, it has to be you. I need someone I can trust.”
She said nothing, just continued staring with that blank look on her face.
“You hate me and I get it, Ren. I really do. But I need someone around me I can trust because frankly, I don’t knowwho the hell I can trust right now, and I need to figure that out beforetheyfigure out where we are.”
Ren’s breath hitched, maybe at the seriousness of my words or the pleading tone I never used. She looked away as if shielding her emotions from me, but when she looked back, a steely resolve had taken over. “I’ll think about it,” she finally replied. “That’s all I can offer.” She tapped the forms in front of me as a final reminder.
It was a hell of a lot more than I deserved. “Thank you,” I nodded, knowing that I couldn’t push her, not until she was close to a decision. It went against who I was, who I’d become in our time apart. I wanted to offer her an obscene amount of money and insist she do it, but Ren wouldn’t be rushed; it was just her way.
I owed her more than my usual strong-arm tactics, so I picked up the pen and sighed, meeting her gaze again.
“Here?” Her tone was surprised, and when I looked up, her brows shot up and her blue eyes were wide.
I nodded. “This is a very urgent matter, Ren. I can’t afford to wait.”
She let out a soft breath, stood, and left me alone in her office.
I exhaled, long and slow, and stared at the paperwork without seeing a word of it.Holy shit.Serenity Majors, the only woman I’d ever loved, was here in Lucky, Texas. What were the odds?
She was still gorgeous and stylish, still smart as hell with a backbone built from steel. Seventeen years later, she was still my only dream. There was no universe in which she would ever forgive me or give me, giveus, a second chance, and I understood that, but I needed her. Matteo needed her, which meant I had to convince her that stepping back into my life wouldn’t wreck her heart. Or her life.
Chapter 5
Serenity
Ileft Enzo in my office with the intake forms. The room suddenly felt too full of him—of his scent, his size, his gravity—so I stepped into the hallway and shut the door between us. My pulse hadn’t settled by the time I reached the break room.
I found Toni leaning against the counter, cradling a steaming cup in her hands. She looked like she’d been waiting for me, arms folded and eyebrows raised. “Well?”
I dragged a hand over my face, trying to figure out what to say about Enzo. “He is…someone from my past.” Understatement of the century, but how else could I explain him without giving away all my secrets?
“Obviously,” she snorted. “Is that all?”
I shrugged. “He was my everything at one point in my life. We met just before graduate school began, and we were inseparable the whole time. He went home and never looked back, breaking my heart into pieces so tiny they’ve never been reassembled.” I swallowed around that hard truth. “This was the first time I’ve seen him since I dropped him off at the airport.”
