Her eyes widened, glassy and tortured.
“I’m sorry I made the decision without you,” I added. “That part… that was wrong.”
She stared at me with an expression that was somewhere between blank and sad. I wanted to shout for her to say something, but she wouldn’t be rushed, so I sipped my wine and I waited. I watched as she carefully picked up her wine glassand took several big gulps. “You were right,” she finally said, shocking the hell out of me. “I would have tried to make it work, no matter the danger. I loved you more than… anything.”
My shoulders relaxed, as if admitting those words to her had loosened something lodged in my chest.
“But,” she began again, in that tone she used when she knew she was about to win an argument, “you made the choice without me. You didn’t trust me enough with the truth.”
The words, or rather the truth of them, slammed against my chest. “Maybe,” I conceded. “I didn’t want you to look at me and see a mobster. I loved the way those blue eyes looked at me, Ren. No one has ever looked at me like that.” I swallowed. “No one but you.” My heart raced out of control, but I forced my body to stay still, not showing her how much it meant to be able to say those words to her.
She nodded slowly, taking another long sip of wine. “Thank you for the apology, Enzo. I appreciate it.” Even if it didn’t fix anything. She didn’t say it and neither did I, but it sat there between us.
My brows shot up. “Even if it’s almost twenty years too late?”
She nodded, giving me the first real smile I’d earned since before I got on that damn plane back to Los Angeles. “Better late than never, as they say. Right?”
I shook my head. “I wanted to apologize before. I thought about it before I decided to marry Sofia, but I knew if I saw you…” I trailed off. “I would’ve wanted to make you mine again.” The truth was she was all I thought about throughout the first few years of my marriage to Sofia; it was a secret I vowed to take to my grave.
She absorbed that with a quiet nod, sadness clouding her eyes. “Was Sofia prepared for your life?”
I shrugged. “Her father lived it. She grew up in it, a mafia princess, so she understood the danger going in.” Understoodit, yes. But she’d been so protected that her understanding was purely academic. “I don’t think she expected to die in a car bomb.”
“No one ever does, do they?”
I let out a short, humorless laugh at her dry delivery. “Probably not.”
She set her fork down. “What about the current danger?”
I considered how much to share with her, ultimately choosing honesty over protection. “The Russians have been encroaching on our territory, wanting a bigger piece of the pie. They want our businesses. They want control. It’s how they operate: move in, encroach, and before you realize it, you’re operatinginsideRussian territory.”
She listened, her brows furrowing at the details. “And threatening a child accomplishes that how?” she asked.
It was a good question. One I hadn’t asked myself enough.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But I’m going to find out.”
“You always were incredibly determined when you set your mind on something,” she sighed at the memory before shaking it off. “You’ve done a good job with Mattie. He’s smart and kind and so funny. He’s great.”
I smiled softly. “Thank you. I mean, I think so, but he’s my boy.” No one but Luca ever said such things to me, and some days I wondered what Sofia would think about Matteo. “It means a lot that you think so, Ren.”
She smiled back and then abruptly stood, wiping the soft expression off her face and replacing it with determination. “I should head upstairs. I still have to do payroll for the week. Good night, Enzo.”
“Good night,” I said to her retreating form, smiling to myself while I turned back to my meal.
Ren didn’t forgive me, and I wasn’t sure she ever would, but she hated me less today than she did yesterday.
That felt like a win.
And I really fucking needed a win.
Chapter 9
Serenity
The house had gone still in the way only the late night could bring. It wasn’t empty, not exactly, but it was hushed as if everyone was collectively holding their breath.
I sat at the small table in my room with my laptop open as I scrolled through new emails, jotting down notes on a pad of sticky notes that sat beside me. The glow from the screen painted the room a soft blue hue, which was the only thing I noticed as my thoughts drifted to a time and place outside of this room.
