I would be okay.
Eventually.
Someday.
Chapter 29
Xavier
A few days had passed since I stood in the middle of the kitchen like an idiot and let Rosalee walk away from me, thinking that she didn't mean a damn thing to me. Three days, exactly, since I watched her summon all of her strength and willpower to hold back tears, and I didn't move to soothe her.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
Every opportunity to do the right thing, I consistently did the wrong fucking thing. And what was my reward for my epic fuckups? A nice, big, cold, and empty bed. Rosalee slept in her bed each night while I tried to sleep in mine, tossing and turning every night and wondering if she was thinking about me. Wondering if her body ached for me the way mine ached for her.
And worse than not being able to touch her and taste her was the distance. The distance grew each day, feeling like we were on opposite sides of the Grand Canyon instead of at my little kitchen table. She was endlessly polite and professional, never giving a clue that she was sad.
Except for the sadness that turned her honey-brown eyes a haunting shade of melted gold. That told me everything I needed to know about how badly I'd hurt her.
I woke up on Thursday morning determined to apologize and tell her everything. No more secrets, because that was the only way to make things better. To get her back in my bed, smiling at me, and looking at me like I wasn't just a grumpy mountain man.
I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and rushed through my morning routine, eager to get to the kitchen to enjoy breakfast with Rosalee and Violet.My girls.But when I got there, they were dressed in coats and hats. "Where are you going?"
Rosalee looked up with a small smile. "Violet has a one-year checkup. She's twelve months old, officially a one-year-old, and she needs to get checked out. It won't take long, about an hour or less if she's not feeling feisty." She smiled down at Violet as if she were her own daughter. "Maybe I'll stop to get her a gift to celebrate, but it won't be long."
I wanted to go with her, but I kept my mouth shut and watched them walk away. I kept an eye on Rosalee, and she laughed and chatted with Violet while she put her in the car seat. I knew she would keep up a running commentary the whole trip down the mountain. She talked often with Violet, so much so that I was sure her first word would be Rosalee.
I sulked over a cup of black coffee, wondering how in the hell I would fix things. It was up to me since I was the one who'd fucked up, yet again. I could have told her exactly who I was, about walking away from my company and not just the corporate world. I should have told her what she wanted to know and let her prove that she was here for me and not my money.
"Dammit." I jumped up from the kitchen table, determined to chase her down the mountain. I could wait right outside the pediatrician's office, and when she came out, I could tell her everything. Tell her who I was and apologize and beg—on my hands and knees—for a second chance. I picked up my phone and placed a few orders to be delivered to the cabin later today,but I was still angry as fuck, and I knew there was only one person I could talk to.
My brother.
I dialed Nate's number and waited. "What did you do now?" he asked by way of a greeting.
A sharp knock sounded on the front door, and I went to it, wondering if Nate was playing a trick on me, waiting on the other side of the door. "I fucked up. Again," I replied as I opened the door.
The woman who stood there was tall and rail-thin with blond hair, brown eyes, and hollow cheeks. "Xavier. It's me, Judy."
"Judy," I growled, her name bitter on my tongue.
"Oh shit," Nate whispered in my ear. "Keep the phone on. I'll be your witness, but also, don't do anything where you'll need a witness, okay?"
I stepped back and motioned the woman inside. She didn't look at all familiar, but then again, plenty of people showed up at Triple Horn in costumes with their faces shielded, painted, or otherwise obscured. "Judy," I sighed. "Nice to meet you. Officially." The jury was still out on whether or not it was nice, but I kept that to myself.
She flashed a shy smile. "Right."
I wanted to ask her how she knew who I was, but it was better I didn't know. "What brings you by?"
She took a seat and fidgeted with her fingertips in her lap, scraping at the edges of her red fingernails that looked recently manicured. "Is Violet around?"
"Not right now." Thank fucking goodness. "Well?"
She nodded as if she was nervous, and that put me on edge, but only slightly. "You must have questions."
"Some, but I don't think the answers matter much at this point."
She nodded again. "I was already back home in Washington when I realized I was pregnant," she laughed half-heartedly. "Turns out Texas wasn't for me, so I returned to Seattle where I met a man, a really good man. He was the exact opposite of the man I ran away from, but the timing was terrible."
