Same old Rosalee,I berated myself as I went down to check on Violet. I was making excuses and being a doormat for a man I thought I loved—again—but who didn't give one solid fuck about me.
No more.
It made me angry, but I wasn't an angry person, and I refused to let my experiences turn me into someone else. Later, I wouldn't be angry—tomorrow, maybe.
Today? Today, I leaned into it with everything I had.
Chapter 21
Xavier
I owed Rosalee an apology. I knew I did. I'd snapped at her after she helped me with the shower when she was only trying to make things easier for me. I owed her a hell of a lot more than an apology, and I wanted to give it to her, but I needed it to be a damn good one. So I kept my distance, which, it turned out, was pretty damn easy to do since she'd taken distance to global proportions.
The cabin was big, but not so big that I shouldn't have seen Rosalee for going on three days. But that was the truth of it. Sure, there were traces of her everywhere. She made meals—enough for me—even though she hadn't called me down once. Every time I went to the kitchen, there was food for me, not on a plate, because she was angry, but warm on the stove.
No note and no expectations.
Just food.
Even when she was ignoring me, Rosalee was being kind. It was a kindness I didn't deserve, which only made me feel even more guilty. "Fuck."
My phone buzzed on the bed, and I reached for it instinctively. It was a small video from Rosalee of Violet as shewalked across the living room and right into Rosalee's arms. They were right downstairs, and I'd missed this milestone. I'd missed it because I was a stubborn, surly bastard who always let my emotions get in the way, even though I pretended not to have any. "Son of a bitch!"
I hated this shit—emotions and feelings. This was why I'd moved up to the mountain and kept to myself as much as fucking possible. People were too complicated, with messy emotions that they worked hard not to reveal, leaving you to guess what was wrong or what they were feeling instead of just saying the words outright.
I stood and fell back down, putting too much weight on my still-tender ankle. "Fuck!" The pain roared out of me, but I got up slower on my second attempt and limped my way down the steps and into the living room where Violet and Rosalee were giggling together. "She walked?"
Rosalee's smile dimmed, but she nodded. "You saw the video."
"I did." I stepped inside and took a seat. "Were those her first steps?"
She paused for a moment, and I could tell she wanted to say yes, but after a brief war with herself, she shook her head. "No. She took her first steps the day you came home—um, came back to the cabin with your ankle."
My shoulders sank in disappointment. "Thank you for the video."
"Of course. That's my job."
"Look, Rosalee," I began, still unsure of what I wanted to say to her but knowing that I needed to say something.
She held up a hand to stop my words. "No. Don't bother with... with anything, Xavier." She stood abruptly with Violet in her arms and handed her to me. "I think you two need to spend more time together. I'll go work on lunch."
I didn't want to let her go without a proper apology, not just because I owed it to her but because she deserved it. But in this moment with Violet in my arms, her big blue eyes blinked up at me, a small smile tipping her rosebud lips up at the corners. "You walked, baby girl. You took your first steps, and I wasn't here to see them. I'm so fucking sorry for that. Shit, I mean, I'm just sorry that I missed it, and I promise you I won't miss anything else important. I swear." She smelled incredible, like lavender and baby powder.
"Ba ba baba bagaba!"
I laughed because that was the only thing to do in the face of such cuteness. "I'll do better, Violet. That's a promise."
Too soon, before I was ready, she was asleep in my arms. I wasn't sure how to get up on my ankle with her in my arms, so I called out to Rosalee.
She came back to the living room and stood on the other side of the coffee table, an unreadable expression on her face as she took in the scene. "Right." Moving into action, she scooped Violet from my arms and rushed from the living room.
I listened as she moved around upstairs, which gave me enough time to stand and head to the kitchen. A minute later, soft footsteps sounded on the stairs, but I waited for her to head back to the living room, but she never did.
She stopped with a gasp at the sight of me in the kitchen but recovered quickly, smoothing her hands down her jeans before she turned back to the stove.
"Rosalee," I began, but this time I was more confident, and I refused to let her give me a pass I didn't deserve. "I'm sorry. I am so fucking sorry for snapping at you when you were just trying to help me. You didn't deserve that, not at all, and I'm sorry."
She didn't say anything for a long time as she stood frozen at the stove. And then she sniffled, and I felt it right in the middleof my chest. "Apology accepted," she said after a silence that seemed to last at least an eternity.
