“It occurred to me, when I received the news, that I do not know you as well as I should,” I said, taking a sip and savoring the diluted sweetness of the mulled cider. “I would like to change that.”
Nicolas set his own cup down, using his pinky to soften the sound. He swallowed. “What do you want to know?”
“Everything, eventually,” I replied. “But perhaps we could start somewhere simple, like…what’s your favorite season?”
Nicolas relaxed into his chair. “Spring. Everything feels new, full of possibility, and it’s not so bloody cold.” He studied my face. “Yours?”
“Autumn. The colors, the harvest, the cooling air after summer’s brutal heat…though I suppose spring will hold a new meaning to me, now.” I took another sip, pausing to gather courage. My fingers drummed against the pewter cup.
“You’re fidgeting,” Nicolas observed, tilting his head. “That’s unlike you.”
I set the cup down, mirroring his move with the pinky. “I confess, I did not come here for mere conversation.”
The prince’s brow raised. “Oh?”
Gods, how to say it? My nails tapped a crescendo. “The court ladies were discussing…preparations. For marriage. They seemed quite shocked to learn that we’ve only ever…” I gestured vaguely, then forced myself to meet his eyes. “That you’ve only kissed my cheek.”
“Ah.”
His monosyllabic responses were killing me. I gathered myself, straightening my spine and channeling the same charade of confidence I had displayed in the Lady’s Chamber. “I thought perhaps we should remedy that. If you’re amenable.”
Nicolas hesitated. He cautiously stood, as if any sudden movement would scare me away. “Are you asking me to kiss you, Alana?”
“To teach me,” I corrected, feeling accomplished in the steadiness of my voice despite the way my heart raced. “You clearly have more experience in these matters, and I… I’d rather not be completely bewildered on our wedding night.”
I expected him to seize the moment, to unleash the wild beast he’d kept caged within himself. Instead, the prince crossed over to the fireplace, pushing aside the two high-backed chairs. He relocated a bearskin rug from elsewhere, topping it with cushions. I struggled not to laugh at what was closely beginning to resemble a bird assembling a nest, composing myself by the time he turned to look at me.
He gestured for me to join him, taking a seat atop one of the pillows. My knees nearly gave out halfway to him, the nerves turning my blood to ice. At last I reached his arrangement and sat beside him, folding my legs beneath me.
Firelight danced across the prince’s features, giving his eyes an almost orange glow. “You’re nervous.”
“I’m not!” I retorted, then looked down at my hands. Their quivering betrayed me.
“There’s no rush. We’ll go at your pace.” He shifted to face me fully, close enough that I could see the roots of closely-shaven hairs, but he still maintained a careful space between us. “Tell me what worries you.”
Whatdidn’tworry me? I was afraid of him, truth be told, and what he’d done to me. Rather, whatIhad done to me; he’d only pulled the covers from my pathetic sense of morality. He’d encouraged me to kill Percy, to learn magic, but power always came with a cost. Maybe he was leveling the ground between us.
I collected my wits.
“I don’t know what to do. Where to put my hands, or how to breathe, or…”
“Breathe now,” he instructed calmly, demonstrating with a slow inhale.
I mirrored him, studying the easy rise and fall of his chest.
“As for your hands…” He placed his hands between us and cleared his throat. “Start here, if you like.”
He was surprisingly gentle.
I traced the lines of his palms, admiring the softness of his skin and the heat that greeted me. Callouses lined his fingers, small but present. I relaxed my hands into his, earning a smile as he traced a thumb over my knuckles.
“Would it help to know that you terrify me, too?” he asked.
I looked up. “I scare you?”
“The moment I heard your voice in the woods, something in me changed completely.” His eyes were distant with memory. “I’ve spent my whole life in control, Alana. I was the only person I could trust entirely, so I kept a leash on my emotions, my decisions. But then you came along…”
The prince lifted one of my hands to his chest. I felt his heartbeat, quick and strong beneath the surface.
