Chapter 42
My parents tookcare of me throughout the night. For the first time in a while, things felt…normal. Mother gave me tea and bread, checking me over for fluctuations in temperature. My father read to me as if I was a child incapable of taking that book into my own hands, and I let him. This might never happen again. It was a good-bye I never got from them, and though they lived among us in court now, I was not the daughter who had left them in the woods. For only that moment, she was alive within me once more.
I managed to eat a large breakfast and keep it down. That left me with enough energy to roam the estate for some insight as to Duke Minnick’s person, and when that became tedious, I sought out my husband.
He was in his own guest chamber, standing on the balcony and enjoying the breeze with a chilled glass of tea. Sieur Eldridge had announced my arrival, but Nicolas was too relaxed to properly greet me. I approached him and gripped the iron railing on the opposite end of the tea table.
His eyes were closed. The wind tousled our hair, a pleasant gust in perfect weather, and at last my husband looked at me with evident sadness. Whatever troubled him, I knew he’d come outside to escape it.
“It seems you’ve come into your position at precisely the worst time to do so,” he said. “At least Greene feels like it used to.”
“Hard times don’t last forever.” I moved around the table, seeking comfort beside him. His arm brushed mine, fingers grazing down my laced sleeves. “The people will come to love us as we help them through their darkest hour.”
“You’re an idealist.” Nicolas smiled. “Are you feeling better? I came to check on you a few times yesterday, but you were sleeping.I held you for a while, worried that I might wake you, and you were so still that I kept checking your pulse.”
I chuckled…but really, I was touched by the realization he’d come for me at all. I wished I’d felt his presence, though it was better that he’d let me rest. There was still concern in his gaze as he studied me for any further signs of sickness.
I got on my toes and kissed him. Nicolas made a soft sound against my lips, his hands rising up to my face. The kiss deepened quickly, his breath quickening as his body angled toward mine. One of his hands found my waist, pulling me closer.
He murmured my name with heat and walked us away from the balcony’s edge, back through the open doors of his chamber. His fingers moved along my sides, tracing the boning of my bodice, reacquainting themselves with my shape. The touch sent me back to that first week of bliss between us, to our marriage chamber where all was discovery and hunger, and every caress was blessed like magic.
His lips found my throat. I tilted my head back, tangling my fingers in his blond hair. He slid a hand beneath my breast while the other pressed me flush against him.
He was erect. Painfully so, I imagined, from the growls that left him when he pressed against my waist. My blood sang for him and I quickly began unlacing my gown, unable to stand another second of this wicked dry spell between us.
Then he stopped.
His hands stilled, then withdrew entirely as he stepped back. That loss was…jarring.
“I-I’m sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair, not meeting my eyes. “I just remembered. I have a meeting with Duke Minnick. I really shouldn’t keep him waiting.”
I stared at him, my body still humming with interrupted desire. “Ameeting?”
“Perhaps later, when I return?” He was already straightening his clothes, smoothing away the evidence of our embrace. “You should rest a little more.”
My nails bit into my palms. He tried to move past me, but I stepped in the way. “Are you upset with me?”
“What?” asked Nicolas.
“Every time I’ve tried to kiss you lately, you become skittish and leave me,” I said, though I wanted to scream it. “We have to communicate. You owe me that, as your wife.What’s going on?”
Nicolas flushed. His hand returned to his hair, further disheveling it. “Alana…”
“Nicolas.”
His eyes looked pained, but he sat down on an empty seat and touched his fingers together. “I just don’t want to hurt the child.”
I blinked, unsure I’d heard him correctly. There was no lie written in his expression; he truly believed having sex with me would somehow bring complications. “What?”
“My mother says—”
“Your mother’s not fucking you, Nicolas.I’mfucking you,” I spat, and the lid was completely off on my fury. I put my arms on either side of him. “That’s completely preposterous. You’re an idiot, a royal fucking idiot.”
“The royal physician had the same concern,” Nicolas replied, and my expression must have contorted into something quite fearsome by the way he sank into the seat.
“The royal physician was wrong before, and he’s wrong again now. I’m telling you—”
“Alana, we have to wait.” Nicolas’ brow furrowed. He raised a hand to touch my chin, and I could have bit his fingers off. “But it will make our reunion all the sweeter. Now, may I go? I really do have a meeting.”
