And that’s why I love Poppy. She doesn’t question things. She just gets it.
“I will make note of it and tell her to go ahead and takeoff,” the nurse replies and updates something on the dry-erase board on the wall. “No problem.”
I look down at the baby again, her cheek warm against my chest, her breathing slow and steady. My whole world feels as if it has narrowed to this bed. This room. This tiny life between us. Only Owen is missing. He’s at school, which feels strange without him here with us.
After I feed her, the nurse shows me how to burp her. I feel ridiculous at first, patting her back like she’s made of glass, but then she lets out the tiniest little sound and relaxes against my chest.
“There you go,” the nurse says softly. “You’ve got it.”
We change her diaper together after that. Poppy’s careful and gentle, talking to her like she already knows her. I clean her up, hands steadier now, and when we’re done, she settles in, content.
The nurse leaves us alone again, and the quiet settles back in.
I glance at Poppy, and something tightens in my chest. I know she has questions. A million of them. She’s holding herself together, but I can see it in her eyes.
“We have so many questions,” I say with a sigh.
She nods, but her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She hesitates, then asks the question I knew was coming.
“Who is her mom?”
I take a breath. “Apparently someone my father had a one night stand with.”
I watch her face closely, hating that I’m the one putting that look there. She must realize I’m waiting for her to freak out and her face softens.
“I’m not upset, just confused and want to know what happened, and to try to understand it all,” she admits.
“I don’t know how to get a hold of her. The nurse said she just left.”
Poppy shakes her head. “I don’t understand how that can happen. How can she just leave this sweet baby?”
I sigh, relieved that Poppy gets it. But of course she does, I don’t know why I ever thought she wouldn’t.
She bites her lip, emotion flickering across her face. “Are you worried she might not be your dad’s? I hate to say it, but it’s a valid question, given that she just left like she did.”
I scrub a hand down my face. “No. I mean, we’ll find out for sure. But I’m going to take care of her and love her until I know. No matter what. She needs someone in her corner. She needs us. I’ll be there. And I know when I tell Cami she will be, too.”
Poppy nods her head. “We’ll all be there.” She looks down at the baby, then back at me. “Can I tell you something?”
“Yeah,” I say immediately.
“I’m going to be devastated if she’s not your sister,” she says, the words tumbling out too fast, like she didn’t mean to admit them yet. She shakes her head, a breathless little laugh escaping, half disbelief, half panic. “This is ridiculous. I barely know her. I know that.” Her fingers twist together in her lap, nerves written all over her. “But I already care,” she admits softly. “Like, a lot. And that scares me.”
She finally looks at me, eyes bright and conflicted. “I don’t know what that means yet, Ollie. I don’t know where it goes or what I’m supposed to do with it. I just know the thought of her not being okay feels… unbearable.”
She swallows. “I’m not saying I have it figured out. I don’t. I just—” She exhales. “I already love her. And I don’t know how that happened so fast.”
My chest aches in the best and worst way all at once. I nod, voice rough. “I know, me too. I don’t understand how, but it’s true. She’s pretty amazing.”
I look at the baby between us, this tiny person who changed everything in an instant, and then back at Poppy. Whatever happens next, I already know one thing. We’re in this together.
I lean in and kiss her softly. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Now let me get some pictures of you both,” she says, pulling out her phone. “This is a special moment.”
I refuse to leave her now, and we have to wait for the social worker to come in and talk to us this afternoon before we can take her home. I’m freaked out about taking her home, so I know exactly who I can call. Walker. Walker’s daughter is seventeen now. But he was a single dad before he met his wife, Violet, and I know he can give me some pointers.
Poppy leaves to check in with Mr. Fisher and get Owen to bring him back to meet the baby. I have no idea what he’s going to think.
