And he knows it.
“Oh my God,” I gasp, the sound barely holding together.
His grip tightens, grounding me, owning me, and when his hand comes up to cover my mouth, it’s gentle but commanding, like he knows exactly how close I am to unraveling.
“Ollie,” I moan, his name breaking apart on my tongue again and again until it’s all I can say, all I can think about, until pleasure crashes through me so hard that I shake, clinging to him as I come undone against his mouth.
He rises slowly, water streaming down his chest, eyes dark and locked on mine. The hunger in his expression steals my breath. Every inch of him is tight with restraint, with want. I swallow hard.
“Ollie,” I pant, breathless.
He murmurs, mouth at my ear now, voice low. “Told you I could do things with that mouth.”
I laugh softly, shaky and breathless. “Showers together are absolutely dangerous with you.”
He smiles against me, wicked and warm. “Worth the risk.”
My hand drops to him without thinking, fingers curling, and the sound he makes is rough and unfiltered, like I’ve touched something raw. He presses his forehead to mine, both of us breathing hard, bodies slick and flushed and aching.
He grabs my hand. “I can’t,” he says quietly, steady even though I can feel how hard this is for him. “Not like that.”
I look at him, confused, breath still uneven.
“It’s not about wanting you,” he continues, voice low and honest. “God, Poppy, that’s not the problem.”
He swallows, eyes holding mine. “I don’t want you giving me pieces of yourself like this if your heart isn’t all the way in. I don’t want something that’s half real. I don’t want comfort or relief or a moment that we pretend doesn’t mean anything tomorrow.”
His thumb brushes my hand, grounding, reverent. “If this was just about sex, I’d do it. But it’s not.”
He exhales slowly. “I only want you like this if you’re choosing me. All of me, for real. No pretend. Not because you’re lonely.”
His gaze softens and he continues, fierce and gentle at the same time. “I don’t want your body unless your heart is ready to come with it.”
Wow. I didn’t expect that from him. But I respect the hell out of that.
“I’m terrified you’ll wake up one day and realize I’m too much,” I admit.
He lets out a shaky laugh. “Poppy, I’ve already built mywhole life around you. Waking up and choosing you is the easy part.”
He cups my face. “I’m not going anywhere. Not tomorrow, and not when things get hard. I’m right here. It’s always you.”
“Always you,” I whisper as he kisses me.
I’ve spent so long believing love had to hurt to be real. But standing here with him, wrapped in warmth and promise, I realize maybe real love feels like safe and chosen.
Chapter 15
Ollie
Fix You Too by Megan Moroney and Kameron Marlowe
Ipeel off my gear when we get back to the station, heat and sweat clinging to my body. My body is running on muscle memory after that call. Just another shift, another fire, another reminder that I know how to step into chaos and come out steadily with everything in my life, except Poppy. It’s been a few days since I tasted her and now, I can’t stop replaying it in my head. She’s the only fire I’ve never been able to extinguish. Because she’s the fire of my heart. The one person I think about at any given point of my day. She’s everywhere. In my heart, a photo on my dashboard, a photo in my locker. I even have a picture of her in my helmet. Poppy means the world to me. I want everything with her.
I stow my gear and open my locker, hands moving automatically, when the memory hits me when I see it.
A photo of us at the lake, our senior year. A bonfire burns low in the background behind us, our cheeks pressedtogether while music thumps out of someone’s truck. If I close my eyes, I can practically still hear it. Laughter drifting over the water. And Poppy by my side.
Her hair’s pulled up messy on the top of her head, cheeks flushed from the night and the noise and the way I’m looking at her like I don’t know how not to. I can still smell that night, like smoke and summer. The way she laughs when I said something stupid to hear her laugh. I did that a lot back then, trying to get her to laugh. I craved her laughter. I think we all did everything we could to save Poppy back then. She had it rough raising Owen practically on her own, so making her happy was important. She deserved that after all the hurt she had been through losing her mom.
