I was expecting a pissed off look on his face; instead, there was a thoughtful one.
“I’d like to talk to you.”Before I could answer, he added, “Stone is aware and is ok if you take a few minutes.”
This was a really difficult place to be.On the one hand, I wanted so badly to tell him off again.I didn’t want to—couldn’t—deal with the emotional backlash again.But on the other, he was my boss and I did need this job for at least the next few months.There was only so much Conor could do; he wasn’t the only one running O’Gallaghers.
I set the towels and bucket of sanitizer water down and headed toward the office, the only place we could shut the door and have privacy.I refused to think of other things we did in this very space.
“About last night.”He took a deep, audible breath.“I did some thinking.”
I crossed my arms.He could think all he damn wanted.He could keep thinking for all I cared.
“I want to change.”
I stuck my tongue in between my teeth, biting down gently.I wasn’t entirely sure how to respond so I didn’t.I wasn’t expecting him to say that.
“You helped me come to the realization that I have room to grow as a person.You and Con, really.He said something earlier in the week that rang along the same lines as what you said.”Rory stuffed a hand in his jeans pocket and ran the other through his hair, holding it against the back of his head as he kept his focus on me.
“I really enjoyed the time we had together.When I wasn’t being a dick, that is.I’d like to work on being a better person, a person whoyoubelieve in.I never had a hard time looking in the mirror until after you told me what you saw negatively in me.It really had me thinking.”
I shook my head and sighed.“Rory, no.We can’t…” I shook my head again.I felt myself completely thaw toward him.There wasn’t anything worse in the world than feeling like you had to change for someone and I hated that I did that to him.
I was glad he wanted to make the changes, but I didn’t want him to make them for me.We didn’t have a future.The moments we had, short as they were, had some fun mixed in, but I was leaving in a few months.“It would probably just be better for everyone if we just ended this here and now.I’m done in four months.I don’t know where I’ll go after graduation, if I’ll be staying in San Diego or if I decide to go elsewhere for school.Heck, it depends on where I get into the anesthesia program.You’re my boss and it’s just better,healthier, for everyone involved if we just kept it that way.”
I wasn’t sure what his reaction would be, but the thoughtful look on his face wasn’t what I would have bet on.
“Ok.”
I couldn’t help it; I frowned.“Just like that?”
His smile wasn’t coy, it wasn’t cocky.It wasn’t full and assured, either.It was actually kind of sad.“I’m going to prove to you that I can change.I’ll give you your space but I’m not going to let this go.”
I couldn’t stop my grin this time.There he went again, all sure of himself.
“Rory, no.”I uncrossed my arms and stuck my fingers in my back pockets.“Do you, Rory.When you’re not being an ass, you have a certain energy about you.Don’t change that for me.Don’t change that for anyone.You have the ability to be a great guy, but I just don’t think you and I could be healthy together.Too much negativity between us.”
Rory stepped close to me but I held my ground.I wasn’t sure what his next move would be.
I was honest with my words.
When Rory was being a good guy, he truly was an awesome man to get to know.If he stuck with that, he’d makeonelucky woman very happy.
He’d have to figure out the monogamy thing, sure, but I thought he was on his way to being an adult.
“Whatever you want to think, Em.But I’m going to prove you wrong.”With that, he put his hands on my shoulders and leaned in to kiss my forehead.
Before I could react, he was gone.
Eighteen Months Later
Emily
I graduated my nursing program with honors.
Surprising, yes.
But with the help of a changed schedule, and the ability to get places faster, I was able to put more energy into studying and passed my remaining tests with flying colors.One of the prerequisites for the nurse anesthesia program was a minimum of one year in a critical care setting, so I chose to apply to a number of ICUs in the Bay Area, eventually accepting a position in a pediatric ICU.It was extremely difficult to work with critically ill children, but it also was incredibly rewarding.
When it was time to apply to my next school, I was quickly accepted to a Nursing Anesthesia program in Arizona, thanks to my previous grades and letters of recommendation from peers.With my new income, I was able to get my auto loan out of Conor’s name and fully into mine too.Conor joked that he was sad to be cutting yet another tie with me, but I assured both him and Mia that I would come back around.The O’Gallaghers had become a pseudo-extended family of sorts, and I enjoyed spending time with them.
