“The execution was good,” she replies without missing a beat. “The timing was interesting.”
I gesture toward myself, feeling my chest puff out a little. “What do you mean interesting?”
“I wasn’t expecting it—that’s for sure.” She reaches forward and grabs her water again, but instead of drinking, she sets the bottle on her leg and fidgets with the cap.
“Good.” I bop my head. “I want to keep you on your toes.”
Her gaze drops to her bottle, and her lips cave down. When she finally speaks, her voice is broken. “I appreciated your help today, and ah, thanks for the kiss and all. It’s been a long time since I felt…well, wanted like that.” She pauses, and her throat bobs, as she swallows deeply.
I resist the urge to reply because the expression on her face is pained. Eventually, she levels her gaze with mine. “Look, I’ve got a lot going on here. I’m finally getting my life almost on track. I’m finishing my degree. I’ll be starting a new career in teaching. And Bella.” She glances at the door adjacent to the living room, and her voice fades with the last part: “I’m so insanely flattered, but I just don’t have room for a distraction.”
“Whoa.” My defenses rise along with my eyebrows. “You sure get right to the point, don’t you?”
She adds an unapologetic shrug. “I have a lot to consider…and I’m done screwing up my life. I’ve done enough of that.”
“What do you mean screwing up?” I gesture around me. “It looks like you’re doing pretty good to me. You have a cute place and a great kid.”
“I have an amazing kid, but you know what I’m talking about.” Her eyes snap back at me, challenging me. “I mean…I’m done loving people who are wrong for me. I’m not going to be somebody’s fling, so yeah, thanks for the kiss.” She slopes her chin up, as if physically placing a punctuation mark to end the conversation. “I’m not going to play around and pretend thiscould lead somewhere. You’re having fun playing funcle, but I do this full time. Our lives are clearly different.”
The way she cuts to the chase, not leaving any room for misunderstanding, makes the tension thick between us. “I sort of feel like you’re making a lot of assumptions about me. Who said anything about a fling?” I quirk an eyebrow in offense. “Did it ever occur to you that I might be interested in more than that?”
“Let me guess. You say that to all the girls.” She gives me a pointed glare.
“No.” I wait, like I’ve lost my mind, because this woman—who I’ve known for less than twenty-four hours—has me acting completely out of character. The way she’s challenging me, pushing me away before I even have a chance to find out if I want to get close to her, has me fighting back.
She dips her chin again and rubs her eye. Maybe she’s tired but a part of me wonders if she’s getting emotional and pretending her eye bothers her to hide something…maybe tears? “I don’t know how else to explain this to you,” she continues, “but I’ve made so many mistakes, and I’m so far behind in life. For Bella’s sake, I can’t afford to risk anymore.”
Mistake?
“You don’t even know what this could be. How can you say I’m going to be a mistake?” The way she looks at me says it all.
This isn’t about me or her not feeling this chemistry. This is about her inability to move forward. I stare at her, but she refuses to meet my gaze.
She’s clearly not wanting anything more from me. I’m not going to push myself on her—or anyone—but at this point, my anger rises. Not because she doesn’t want to get to know me more, but because she’s shut herself off completely. She can reject me, but she’s an incredible woman who deserves to believe she’s worthy of love.
I purse my lips, mulling over all the things I could say. “You know.” I reach out, unable to stop myself from touching her arm. She stiffens the moment my fingers brush her skin. I hold my hand steady, making sure she doesn’t turn away because I need her to hear what I have to say. “You’re focusing on your past mistakes. If you went back to erase all your mistakes, you’d delete yourself. That would be a shame because you seem like an amazing woman to me.”
Her eyes brim with tears, she jumps to her feet and turns her back toward me. Taking that as my cue, I stand and call toward the bedroom door, “Rigsby, it’s time to go.”
“Don’t you want to stay for pizza?” Kaci turns her head as she tries her best to discreetly dab at her eyes.
“I appreciate the offer, but you’ve made your point. You don’t need a distraction.” I step toward the door just as Rigsby comes out of the room, and I grab his coat off the hook. My tone isn’t the least bit harsh. If anything, I do everything I can to show empathy. “Thanks for having us over, and for all the help today. See ya around.”
thirteen
Kaci
I flip to my other side, forcing my eyes to close, but after only a moment, I give up. It’s no use. The sun peeks from underneath my drawn bedroom shades. I might as well use this time to brew an extra cup of coffee because I’m certainly not getting any more sleep. I’m not even tired as I push myself to a sitting position and stretch my hands over my head. It must be some sort of an adrenaline that won’t shut off. My mind was active all night.
Of course, I was thinking about Jackson—who wouldn’t after that kiss?
Yesterday was insane.
It doesn’t even feel real now as I recall it. I mean, what are the odds of everything happening the way they did. It’s one thing for me to find his glove, but we both ended up missing that bus. It was incredibly stressful, but the way we banded together to get through our day was actually sort of fun, now that I look back on it. I don’t remember the last time I saw Bella laugh as much as she did with Rigsby. Sighing, I drop my hands to my sides andstand. God was looking out for me by inserting Jackson into my life right when I needed the help for the day. That’s all it was.
The corners of my lips tug into a smile as I recall for the gazillionth timethat kiss.
It did something to me. Like it awakened a sense in me that had been dead for so long. It’s uncanny how long it’s been since I thought about romance. After Chase bailed, I just shut everything off and never wanted to go there.
