“Ha!” she barked out an incredulous, broken laugh. She clutched her head and shook it with tightly shut eyes. “Haha! Your joke keeps getting better. What a laugh everyone must’ve been having.” She closed the distance between us. Her gray eyes glittered with fury and pain as she hissed, “I hope my life was entertaining for you.”
She spun around to leave.
Panic swelled inside of me like a rogue wave, and I quickly reached out to grab her hand. “Star—”
She whipped around, her palm colliding hard with my cheek. I stood wide-eyed with a throbbing face as she whimpered, “I’mnotyour star.”
The ground I stood on seemed to crack and crumble. A monster of a divide opened up between us. The world fell around me until I stood on a small piece of broken ground, watching as Serenity walked away on the distant piece. I was rendered immobile and unable to speak. This wasn’t what I wanted. This wasn’t what I’d planned.
But … it was what I’d caused.
And Serenity is just the collateral damage.
Diary Entry 202
DearTwilaDante,
I know you won’t see this random entry thrown into my diary. You won’t know about this one message written to you. On second thought, maybe you will. You’re a demon, so you could be standing behind me at this very moment, watching me write this entry. I don’t care if you see this or not. I still wanted to make sure I said it, especially after how things ended the last time I saw you on the bridge. I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I want to make sure I have this written somewhere.
I don’t blame you.
I don’t hold your words or lies against you.
For a time, I thought the hurt would consume me—the realization that you never saw us how I did. I thought I might crumble apart when I realized I was another cruel joke for someone.
But honestly? I’m not upset with you anymore, because for the first time in my life, I got to feel something real. For the first time, I understood what it meant to truly be happy and no longer alone. I know our relationship wasn’t that for you, and that’s okay. It was enough for me.
I want to thank you for letting me have those moments to shine and feel warm. I want to thank you for giving me a sliver of something I’d always longed for. It was the happiest I’d ever been, and that means something.
I hope you’re able to find that something real, too. It’s worth searching for and experiencing. You were my best friend, my partner, my night sky, and I want you to know how grateful I am that I got to call you all of those things. Please don’t blame yourself for whatever happens to me.
You were the only one there in a world of people who had their backs to me. You were the only one who held my hand where others had shoved it away. You were exactly what I needed at the timewhen I needed someone most. I’m sorry I couldn’t be that for you. Please know I tried. Please know I really did love you.
I still do … even after everything.
I’m not sure what will happen in the future. I’m not sure where I’ll be. But if you ever think of me, if you ever doubt yourself and the heart beating inside your chest, look up to the stars. I’ll be there to offer you my light.
Until then,
Your star, your Serenity
Chapter 30
Serenity
I ADJUSTED THE TURTLE NECK, ensuring the bruises on my neck were covered. After only two days, the marks were still as visible and ugly as when they’d been made. I wanted to tear off the sweater and show everyone around me what had happened. I wanted them to see the marks, but … what if they didn’t care? What if no one believed that Bradley, the upright and perfect gentleman who worked so hard, really laid his hands on me? What if my dad really chose him over me?
That fear had me tightening my own hand over the material of my top, covering the bruising with quivering fingers.
“Ready?”
I sucked in a startled breath as Bradley waltzed past me and toward his truck. He didn’t look at me. He kept walking, and with shaking legs, I followed after him. Dad and Scarlett had invited us over for dinner, so with work over, the two of us climbed into his truck to head there.
And I hated myself for it.
I hated that, after what he’d done to me, I was still following after him. He knew me better than I wished. This bastard knew all of my weaknesses and fears, and he used them against me. It was like he said—I was a loser, a nobody. If I didn’t choose him, who would choose me?
“I hate this,” I whispered under my breath, leaning my forehead against the cold glass of the truck window.
