“I didn’taskfor you to take me back,” I cried, shoving on his chest so that I could get back to my feet. I pulled and tugged on my wrists, which he still held, and yelled, “I don’t want to be with you! You broke my trust, Bradley. You treat me like a moron! You’re a fucking bastard, and I will never,everbe with you again!”
He bared his teeth and roared as he shoved me hard. I gasped and fell hard on my back. Pain shot up my spine, and I groaned as my head spun. Before I could get my bearings, Bradley straddled me and gripped my face in one tight squeeze while holding my hair in the other.
“You’re mine,” he hissed as he shook me hard. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll fucking calm down and do as you’re told!”
“No!” I cried. “Get off me!”
I pushed at his chest and wiggled under him, trying to buck him off. He grappled with my arms as I swung them wildly, and with a flash of hatred in his eyes, he balled his fist and swung it at me. Blinding pain erupted on my cheek as my head was thrown sideways. Warm blood dripped around my eye, mingling with the stream of tears already there.
Bradley panted and grabbed my neck in both hands. He got in my face as he squeezed my throat. Spit flew from his mouth as he shouted, “You are nothing without me, so learn your fucking place!”
My lips parted in futile attempts to gulp in air as I stared bleary eyed at this man. I clung to his wrists and desperately tried to pry his strangling grip off my airway, but he was too strong.
“You’remygirlfriend. You’ve always beenmygirlfriend,” Bradley continued growling right in my face while his own became red with rage. “So you’re going to go back to being the dutiful girlfriend, and we’re going to pretend this never happened. Otherwise, you’ll bealone.”
Alone.
The word squeezed my lungs tighter than his actual grip did.
“No one will ever give you the chance I have. Why would they? You’re a loser, Serenity. I’m the only thing you had going for you. Without me, you’re just a fat, weird, dreary nobody that people would sooner push aside than deal with.”
I shook my head as much as his firm grip would allow and croaked, “My dad—”
He threw his head back on a drunken laugh. “You think Daddy will choose you over me? I make him so much money. I’m his star employee. You? You’re just his miserable excuse for a daughter. If you don’t want to be abandoned by the only people who tolerate you, if you don’t want to find yourself six-feet fucking under, you’ll do as I say, damnit!”
His hands suddenly squeezed harder. Pressure built in my skull, and darkness began to creep into the edges of my vision. I needed to breathe. I needed air!
With a last burst of energy, I reached up and dug my fingernails into his face. He yelped and reared back. I sucked in a lungful of air, choking from inhaling too hard and fast after being deprived. I couldn’t focus on that, though. The minute he leapt back, I gritted my teeth and kicked him hard in the balls. He doubled over to grab himself, sputtering in agony.
I didn’t stick around. With blood and tears dripping down my face, I held my throbbing throat and raced from the apartment. I didn’t stop running until I was back in my car, and even then, I didn’t stop moving.
I drove with no destination in mind. I just drove and screamed out incoherent wails. I wanted to tell myself that it was the alcohol talking. I wanted to tell myself that all those hurtful things he said were wrong and he didn’t mean them. But I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. The alcohol had been the only thing that let him tell the truth and reveal just how he’d really felt about me all along.
Fat. Weird. A nobody.
Alone.
A passing car honked at me as I drifted into the other lane by mistake, and I quickly whipped the wheel back over. Realizing I was downtown where the roads were tight, I had enough sense to know I shouldn’t be driving in this state. I pulled over into a public parking lot to get off the road and started walking. Ihadto keep moving.
Night had fallen, so not many people were out. If they were, I was sure a sobbing, bleeding woman stumbling along the sidewalk in her capybara-littered pajamas would’ve given them a fright. As it was, I kept my head down, trudging through the cold night.
I barely felt the frigid wind. My body throbbed after being abused by someone who simultaneously reassured me that they’d always love me. The dark hole in my chest grew wider, swallowing up every bit of anguish that threatened to strangle me like Bradley had been doing. Those feelings were too much—betrayal, shame, despair.
Betrayal by a man who cared more about his dick than his girlfriend’s heart.
Shame over not realizing all the lies I’d fallen for.
Despair from accepting that I truly was alone.
Grief was at the center of all of those emotions. Grief over the loss of the person I thought I could run to when my head and heart were ready to explode.
I missed him. I missed Dante. I missed our bond, even while knowing it had been yet another lie. Somehow … his lie hurt worse than all of Bradley’s.
I stumbled along a bridge suspended over a river. Dizzy waves fogged my mind, so in need of something to lean on, I stopped and turned to brace my arms on the icy metal railing. My hair framed my face as I hung my head and let my tears fall to the cold, dark waters below.
I wanted to believe that Bradley was wrong. I had people who cared and wanted me in their lives. But the ache inside me was too deep, winding through my thoughts and preventing me from truly feeling like my lonely life wasn’t spinning out of my control. There was no escape from the agony of existing with all of these feelings. There was no hope of getting out from under all the rocks crushing me.
I watched the fat droplets of my tears roll down my chin before plummeting to the rushing dark depths beneath me. I wanted to fall with them.
