“Looking for you,” Zagan answered.
“Okay. You found me,” I said, fanning the top corner of the book pages as I spoke. “What do you need?”
“We’re not here for us.” Xander nudged my shoulder. “We’re here for you.”
“I’m good,” I shrugged and scratched the bar piercing the top of my ear. “Never been better.”
I looked up and found Tom still across from me with eyes narrowed in what looked like disbelief. I narrowed mine back at him.
“Dante,” Zagan stated flatly. “You’re at the fucking zoo, dude. Sitting in front of—” Zagan hesitated with a hand waved toward Tom. “What the fuck are these things?”
“It’s a capybara,” I answered. My chest twisted violently as I recalled each time Serenity had said the exact same phrase tome—the time I stumbled upon the creatures in her room, on her ankle tattoo, or here. “That’s Tom. I think.”
“See?” Zagan chuckled as he leaned forward to match my pose and find my eyes. “Listen to yourself. You don’t care about Tom. You don’t care about sitting out in the cold with only these guys for company. You care about the girl that introduced you to them.”
My throat clogged with a pain I couldn’t place. I shook my head but couldn’t speak to confirm or deny his accusation.
“What are you afraid of?” Perseus asked carefully.
The question was a heavy one, because with it, came memories and thoughts I’d worked hard to keep buried.
Finally, I said, “She’s a human.”
“So?” Perseus fired back.
“You know what humans are like,” I snapped, whipping my head up to meet his gaze. “For Satan’s sake, you’veseenwhat kind of beings they are. Prancing around like they’re some special, chosen kind above even the gods they claim to worship. Cheaters, liars, thieves, greedy, hateful bastards. Theydisgustme.”
“Do you feel that way about Serenity specifically?” Perseus inquired with a knowing raise of his brow.
I swallowed hard and averted my eyes back to Tom. “No. She’s different.”
Tom shifted closer to the glass, and I liked to think it was his way of agreeing with me.
“Exactly,” Zagan pressed. “She’s different. You’re using the fact that she’s a human as an excuse. What are youactuallyafraid of, Dante?”
My lips thinned. Painful barbs wrapped deeply around my chest and began to squeeze me with their truth. I didn’t like opening up about old wounds. I didn’t like unloading this stuffon anyone. But these guys were my brothers, and if anyone would understand those fears, it was them.
“Myself,” I confessed quietly. “I’m afraid that no matter how much I don’t want to, I’ll be the horrible creature humans have always portrayed us as. I’m afraid that I won’t be good enough or the kind of man she needs. I’m afraid she’ll eventually look at me the waytheydid and reconfirm everything they said. I can handle their hatred and disdain. It’s mutual, after all. But ifshedecided she can’t love someone like me … I won’t be able to take it this time. Not from her.”
“Has she ever given you the impression that she would feel that way?” Xander asked pointedly.
I shook my head and looked back down at the book in my lap. “No.”
“Whathasshe said?” Perseus asked.
I opened the book to the title page where her neat handwriting had scrawled its message. My heart fractured with longing as I brushed my fingertips over the words.
My Dante -- your Serenity
“She said,” I answered in a hard whisper, “that I’m her night sky.”
A pregnant pause settled over everyone. They wouldn’t know what that meant or the significance of that confession, though they knew I called her Star. That, paired with how my eyes squeezed shut in remorse and voice trembled with yearning, was all they had to piece together how much it meant to me.
Xander cleared his throat, and he shifted slightly in his seat. The Mischief demon was typically the one always joking and keeping things light with the rest of us, yet a certain somberness furrowed his brow as he stared at the pavement.
“You know a bit about my situation,” Xander started slowly.
I glanced at the tattoo on his right pinky. Immediately, we all knew he was talking abouther.
