I gasped, coming out of my spiraling thoughts. My focus zeroed back in on the coffee I was pouring into my mug at work. I’d zoned out, and the black brew was overflowing from the cup and running along the countertop and to the floor.
I quickly replaced the pot and snatched paper towels to wipe up the hot drink.
Cassidy stomped over, but instead of helping, she crossed her arms and stood over me. “Brainless, much?”
“Sorry,” I mumbled under my breath as I soaked up the coffee.
“I mean, really,” she puffed in an annoyed grumble. “Such a useless waste of space.”
My movements slowed as she left the breakroom, and I just stared at the mess in front of me. I’d cried more times than I could count after this past weekend’s shattering of my world. I had started to think my tears had dried up, yet her icy words hit the mark they always did.
Fresh blood poured from the gaping hole in my chest, and it ran down my front in invisible rivulets to blend with the coffee—evidence of my screw-up.
Tears blurred my vision. I finished cleaning the mess while biting hard on my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. The taste of copper filled my mouth, but even then, I didn’t release my lip. I bit downharder, focusing on that pain in hopes that it would dull the one saturating my insides.
With my appetite for my drink gone, I poured it down the drain and returned to my office. I collapsed into the desk chair and dropped my head into my hands.
I’d gone over everything in my head. I’d asked every question.
What had I done to Dante to make me the target for his joke?
What had I done to make him hate me enough to lie and pretend with me?
Could I have done something differently that would’ve made us real?
What was so wrong with me thateveryoneequated my worth to a laugh?
“Hey. I’m headed to Addie’s, and I—”
Bradley’s abrupt voice cut off. I didn’t raise my head to meet his gaze. I kept my face in my hands, the weight of it heavy with rampant thoughts of doubt and pain.
Hands rested on my thighs and turned my desk chair to the side. My hands were pulled away from my tear-streaked face, and I was presented with Bradley kneeling in front of me, searching my bleary gaze and bloody lip.
A quiet understanding seemed to fall over him. He whispered, “I told you he’d hurt you.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as fresh tears burned my eyes.
“Shh, shh,” Bradley soothed, brushing his thumb over my cheek. “You knew this was coming. I tried to warn you, didn’t I?”
I sucked in a hard breath and peered through my wet lashes. My voice was a small crack as I whispered, “I thought he might love me, too.”
Bradley sighed and shook his head. “He was a good liar, wasn’t he?”
I tipped my head back and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to believe it. I’d heard the words from Dante’s own mouth—a joke, a game,nothing—yet I so badly wantedthatto be the lie. I wanted all of the smiles over books, the grazes of skin as he brushed his knuckles softly over my cheek, the whispered words about being his star to be the truth.
Yet here I sat, crying in front of the man I once loved, longing for the man I now did.
Dante hadn’t called or texted with an explanation. He hadn’t popped over to my apartment as a man or a demon to even say sorry.
Silence.
The thing I’d always existed in with sad resolve, the thing I’d come to see as safety with him, nowstrangledme.
Because that safety was a lie, too.
An amazing, comfortable, heart-shattering lie.
“I love him,” I whimpered pitifully.
