“That’s not how the song sounds at all,” Zagan stated firmly while rubbing at his bottom lip piercings in an effort to hide his growing smile.
“Whatever,” I grumbled, zeroing in my attention on the sheet music Zagan had prepared for each of us.
It had been months since Sinners Do It Better had gone on hiatus, but Zagan had found his footing with writing music again. He’d prepared a couple of new songs for us, and all five band members sat around the red leather couches in his home recording studio to go over the music and potentially record. We weren’t ready for a full-blown reemergence in the public yet, but I felt our hiatus coming to an end.
Whatdidn’tseem to be ending were these assholes’ jokes.
“Our boy is smitten,” Xander teased around overly dramatic sniffles of joy.
I bared my teeth at him. Had I been in a better mood with Serenity in my life? Sure. Things were great, and there was a freedom I felt with her, especially now that she knew what I was. It had been a week since she’d found out, and I still couldn’t quite believe that my truth was out in the open.
Mostly.
She knew what I was now, but she still didn’t know me. Her belief that I wasn’t a monster was proof of that. I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe there was something good aboutme, but how could there be anything good inside a spawn of Hell?
I seduced for my own benefit.
I lied to gain satisfaction.
I disregarded humans as worthless playthings.
It was only a matter of time before all of the ugliness that ran in my veins came out for her to see my true colors, and I wasn’t sure what to do about that.
“I knew you couldn’t hate humans forever,” Perseus chuckled, and I nearly cut his stupid golden bun off his head upon hearing it. He looked a lot healthier now that Harper was doing better. He was eating again, so the rich color had returned to his skin and the dark circles were gone from beneath his eyes.
“Idohate them,” I argued. “That will never change. They don’t deserve anything more than that.”
My fellow Incubi shouldn’t expect anything more from me. After all, they’d been there too—prisoners to old bonds and the torture that came from them. They knew what it was like to be at a human’s mercy, trapped with no way out. That was part of the reason I never understood how they let themselves get to the point of falling for the women they were with now.
Perseus knew what it meant to be chained inside a tight mountain cave.
Zagan knew the horrors of being buried in a wooden coffin.
I knew the pain of being trapped in a well.
We were free of the places we’d been held before, yet while they had seemed to move on from the painful experience, mine still had a hold of me. It had been centuries, yet the effects of that nightmare had me feeling like I was still at the bottom of that long drop with only a small opening of light to look up at. Everytime I let myself remember, I seemed to take dozens of steps backward until I was left with only one thought.
I fuckingloathedhumans.
Shaking my head, I tossed the sheet music onto the table and stood. “I need a drink.”
“Water is in the mini fridge,” Zagan said with a point at the corner of the room.
I glared at my fellow demons disguised as humans and hissed, “Arealone.”
I stomped upstairs to Zagan’s kitchen and grabbed the first bottle of bourbon I saw. I stared at it for a moment before deciding it wouldn’t be strong enough to drown out these fucker’s taunts and reminders of old wounds. With a snap of my fingers, I replaced the bourbon with Hell Fire, a sweet, fiery alcohol from Hell.Thiswould diminish my bandmate’s jokes.
Hopefully, it would also drown out the inner turmoil I’d been feeling about where I stood with Serenity.
I’d pulled her away from Bradley. I’d shoved our closeness in his face. He hadn’t contacted her or approached her at work in the week since that phone call, which meant he’d probably gotten the message. But even though all signs pointed to my mission being accomplished, I refused to admit it was done. I couldn’t say that Bradley’s tower had crumbled while Serenity remained atop, because if that excuse for why I was with her was gone, I’d have to face why I still continued seeing her.
I couldn’t fucking do that.
I couldn’t admit why I still called her over to read well into the night or why I went to her for evening coffee and K-drama marathons.
So more work had to be done. I still had more to do to pry Serenity away from Bradley and shove him harder and harder into despair.
I threw back the burning drink straight from the neck of the bottle.
