I sat on the edge of the bed with my tattooed legs hanging off. Bradley got on his knees in front of me, had me part my legs, and leaned in. I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling as his tongue ran through my seam but bypassed all the parts that felt good. His breathy grunts whispered against my parted middle, and he peppered kisses and teasing flicks all through my center while I remained still, hoping to feel even a smidge of change in his normal tongue game. But while he was determined to alter his attitude and actions, he couldn’t change this.
With my mask forgotten, I didn’t pretend to enjoy his ministrations like I usually did, and after ten minutes of my bored silence, he stood with a coy, if not slightly irritated, smirk. “You playing hard to please tonight? Fine, fine. I like it. I bet you’re so close to bursting, aren’t you, Dollface?”
I didn’t answer. Even though I wasn’t going to put on a show of being into this, I also didn’t want to embarrass him by telling him that I was nowhere near close.
In the past, I’d brought up the fact that I had trouble feeling good during foreplay and sex. Revealing something so vulnerable had been terrifying, but I’d trusted him to hear me so we could figure out a solution. Instead, he’d taken that admission as a personal attack and blamed me for being sexuallybroken. I stopped bringing up the issue after that, because for all I knew, he was right. I could do it alone but never with him.
I wasn’t sure if he took my silence now as “playing hard to get,” but he grinned and grabbed my legs to drape them over his thighs while he settled on his knees on the bed.
“Fine,” he chuckled. “Try and fight that pleasure withthis!”
He shoved inside of me, and no sooner was he seated there than he froze.
“Fuck,” he hissed, throwing his head back. “I’m gonna cum.”
I stared at his lust-shuttered face while he waited for the threat of release to recede so that he could move again. Still, I said nothing. I made no move to kiss him or pull him closer. I just wanted it to be over.
Thankfully, he began to move.
“Yes!” he moaned, punctuating the word with a hard thrust. He continued to chant the word with each movement of his hips. “Yes, yes!”
Seven pumps. It was only seven pumps today, but for once, I didn’t mind. A sad bitterness climbed my chest as I wordlessly went to the bathroom to clean up the mess he’d made between my legs.
I realized too late that going along with his sexual advances wasn’t a good idea. The confusion and longing for something more that I always felt after sex was ten times stronger today, thanks to everything else that had happened. I’d already been in my own head about Bradley and where to go from here, and that internal battle was exacerbated by this need for real love and passion.
I returned to my bedroom with my arms hugged around my bare breasts and middle. I quickly grabbed my clothes and pulled them back on, all while Bradley lounged comfortably in my bed in his boxers.
He turned my TV on and smiled at me. “What would you like to watch?”
So casual.
The nonchalance in his tone and posture made the ugliness spiraling around inside of me expand. How could he act like everything was fine while I was fracturing? How could he not see that I was dying on the inside? I pressed my lips together, effectively sealing in all of my emotions. Keeping it bottled up until I was alone was best. Letting it out now would just make things worse.
Chapter 13
Serenity
I STARED AT MY CEILING, even though it was too dark to really see anything. Bradley slept beside me, his even breathing the only sound filling the quiet room. He’d dozed off halfway through the movie he’d put on, and since I wasn’t really in the mood to watch anything, I’d turned it off and tried to go to sleep.
Rest evaded me.
I glanced at the time on my phone and let out a deep sigh when I realized it was half past midnight. A bone-deep exhaustion weighed down on me, yet sleep couldn’t even give me the decency of its mercy. I was frustrated emotionally, mentally, and sexually with no way to deal with any of it considering the source of those problems lay right next to me.
I shook my head against my pillow and noticed a slight chill encasing my foot. Shivering, I went to tug my leg closer in order to snuggle deeper into the covers, but the limb wouldn’t move.
“What the—” I whispered and lifted my head to look toward the bottom of the bed.
I tried to move my leg again, but it was as though something had weighted it down to the mattress.
My heart began to race as a chill covered my other ankle. I tried moving it but realized with a panicked jump of my heart that I couldn’t move it, either. Fear squeezed my lungs, and I rushed to sit up, only to find I could no longer moveanything.The chill on my legs had climbed its way up my torso, pinning my hands and shoulders in place. Even when I went to open my mouth to try to wake Bradley, it was like my mouth had been sealed shut so that I couldn’t call for help.
What the fuck is happening? Did I fall asleep? Is this sleep paralysis?
The questions fired rapidly in my head, one after the other, all while I lay frozen on my back. The chill covering my ankles, thighs, arms, shoulders, and mouth intensified when I suddenly felt something even colder move along my body.
I gasped softly behind my sealed lips and stared wide-eyed at the ceiling. I’d felt this sensation along my skin before. It was the same whisper of a caress that touched me and caused me to climax that night after the bar.
Whatever that thing was, it was back.
