He cried out as I closed in on him, blood pumping with sweet satisfaction as I grabbed a handful of his greasy brown hair tohold him off the ground. My other fist cracked into his eye, and I growled happily upon feeling bone crunch under my knuckles.
I’m nothing like Bradley, I chanted in my head between every blow to the wailing human.
The words had burrowed into my brain, and despite how much I told myself they were ridiculous, Zagan’s stupid voice haunted me. I was doing Serenity a favor by pulling her away. Zagan worried I’d be hurting her in doing so, but that fear was also unfounded, because she wasn’t going to fall for me. Why would she? Love wasn’t real.
Or maybe you just aren’t worthy of it. A monster like you? What a joke.
I snarled and banished the thought with another collision of my fist into Drake’s face.
One Year Ago
Diary Entry 46
Dear Twila,
I pour a lot of emotions out on your pages. Hopes. Dreams. Secrets. Grievances, Sorrows. You often hear about my dark days and the scary places my mind goes.
Honestly, though? It’s not the times when I’m feeling unbelievably broken that mean the worst. For me, it’s most dangerous when I go beyond that.
Numb.
I reach that level when things are too far gone for me to even begin to grapple with. I go numb when my mind and body agree that nothing can salvage the place of despair that I’ve found myself in. Numb means I ask questions with answers I don’t like.
What’s the point?
Why bother?
What’s the use?
The answers to those questions always end up with me coming to the same deadly conclusion.
There isn’t a point.
I shouldn’t bother.
It’s no use.
Going numb means I’m ready to give up.
I fear I might be going there, Twila.
Don’t let me go there.
Chapter 10
Serenity
THE MINUTE BRADLEY AND I pulled away from Zagan’s house, his carefully constructed smile dropped, and his grip on the steering wheel tightened. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Like an animal that sensed a storm closing in, I sensed the ensuing eruption of Bradley’s fury.
“Delete and block Dante’s number,” Bradley suddenly demanded.
I stared at him, my jaw dropping slightly. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting? He—”
“Serenity!” Bradley screamed, his face turning red. His wild blue eyes darted between me and the road. “Are you fucking deaf? I said block his goddamn number!”
My lip trembled, but it wasn’t with the threat of tears. Barely concealed frustration bubbled up inside of me. “Why?”
“Because he’s not a good guy. He’s just using you, Serenity.”
