“So,” I barrelled on and pressed my forehead to hers, “if you need to scream, scream. Because I’ll hear you. If you need to fall, then fall. Because I’ll catch you. And this time, I will never, ever let go, Serenity.”
Soft cries slipped out of her lips as the stars continued to dance slowly around us. Her shaking hands covered mine, and her response shot one of those stars right into my chest. “Okay.”
THUNDER RUMBLED, AND THE SOUND jolted me out of slumber. I chastised myself with a grumble for falling asleep when I was trying to watch over Serenity. After returning from Hell, she’d been quiet buthere. We’d fallen asleep while holding each other. I looked next to me on the bed, and alarm rushed through me when I found her spot empty.
“Serenity?” I shouted, leaping up from the bed and looking around the dark room.
I didn’t see or sense her in here. Her trembling figure sitting with a shard of glass closing in on her life flashed across my mind. I couldn’t catch my breath as I merged with shadows and walked through them to wherever she’d gone. I didn’t go far, though. I appeared outside in my backyard. Rain pelted down on me as I solidified, and I stood there, frozen and silent, watching Serenity. She stood barefoot and in the robe I’d lent her, and her face was tipped back with eyes closed as the rain washed over her.
“S-Serenity?”
She slowly opened her eyes and looked at me. I sucked in a hard breath when I found, not silent pain in those gray eyes, but a small smile. “Dante.”
I swallowed hard and drew closer until we stood face to face. I looked around the muddy ground and the dark, weeping sky. “What are you doing out here in the rain?”
She tilted her face up and shut her eyes. “Living.”
Most people wouldn’t choose to stand in cold rain. Most people would look at the two of us and shake their heads in disbelief. But I stared at her and understood. Mud and grass caressed our feet. The smell of wet earth and trees surrounded us. The rain poured over our skin and had our clothes clinging to our bodies. Everything about standing in the rain was a reminder that she was still alive with so much to feel, smell, andexperience. Everything about standing here in the rain with her was beautiful.
I held out my hand. “Wanna dance?”
She looked at my hand before meeting my gaze again. The smile she wore stole every bit of air from my lungs. Wordlessly, she took my hand. I pulled her close, holding her hand in one of mine while caressing the small of her wet back with the other. We swayed to the tempo of the falling rain, and the more we moved, the brighter our smiles became. I stepped back and held her arm high, twirling her around in a spray of raindrops, and her laughter joined the symphony of the rain.
I still worried about her and what she needed. I still saw the moment I could’ve lost her in the back of my head. But in that instant, I saw my star’s light reigniting. I saw the twinkle beginning to fill her eyes again, and I felt her rising higher.
Was she completely over the hurdle of her mind? No, and she may never truly be. Depression came and went, rising and falling at inexplicable times. That was fine. She didn’t have to be okay all of the time. All she needed to do was behere, taking her time to wade through all that she was feeling at her own pace. I’d hold her hand while she stumbled and tripped, just as she’d found my flailing grasp as tar pulled me under. She’d snagged my hand and pulled me out from beneath the pile of resentment, because that was what you did for those you loved—offered a hand when the other needed help.
So I let go of my fears as she seemed to do in this moment, and together, demon and star danced in the rain.
Chapter 35
Dante
IT HAD BEEN DAYS SINCE Serenity woke up and started getting back to herself. We sat in her favorite spot—the round window seat in the library. A fire crackled softly in the hearth. I leaned against the rounded window pane while she sat between my extended legs. Her body fit against mine, like I’d been designed with her in mind. She rested the back of her head against my chest, and she played with my palm, drawing little lines and shapes over the skin.
“Can I ask you something?” Serenity queried softly, still drawing little symbols into my hand.
“Of course,” I answered immediately.
“What were those voices I heard when we were in your head in Hell?”
I pressed my lips together on instinct. I’d kept my past and the results that came from it to myself for so long. Only Zagan knew the full extent of it. I’d tried to open up to her, even briefly, that night on the bridge. I’d wanted to give her the reason for why I’d done what I had. But even then, I couldn’t stomach the words. I couldn’t dig up what I’d worked so hard to bury.
Serenity turned between my legs to look over her shoulder at me. She searched my troubled gaze and squeezed my hand. “It’s alright if you can’t talk about it. I understand.”
She did understand. The rocks and walls keeping my story contained began to crumble until I felt the truth rising up my throat. Maybe it was because I’d found someone who understood the suffering of silent trauma. Maybe it was because I’d almost lost her to the demons in her head. Maybe it was because I finally realized that, just as I was her safety, she was mine. Whatever the reason, I no longer wanted to keep anything from her.
Swallowing hard, I looked at our joined hands. “There was a human woman named Isesu. She was a widow at only twenty years old with a small son. Akhom.”
I closed my eyes against the memories of his small, tan face and big, bright onyx gaze. The tug on my sleeve when he wanted me to carry him, the gentle tenor of his laugh as I chased him around the field, the warmth in my chest as he told me he wanted a dad like me. The memories were so fresh, he could’ve been standing before me now, smiling his toothy grin as he always had back then.
Clearing my throat, I opened my eyes to stare at Serenity’s hand, which I squeezed gently. “Isesu’s husband died early, leaving her and her infant alone. I stumbled upon the two of them in the street one day as I was searching for a meal. They were doing the same. Food for an Incubus like me was trickier to come by back then because of traditional values, so I typically had to work a bit harder to find someone to feed off of. I usually bedded those who were married, women with children, ladies and gentlemen of the night, widows, and so on. I knew I’d be safe from getting bonded to a virgin that way.”
“Like Zagan and Iyla?” Serenity asked.
I nodded. “Exactly. Like Zagan and Iyla.” I blew out a breath and found myself back in the memories. The dirty and worn clothes hugging Isesu and Akhom’s skinny bodies were a picture permanently seared into my brain.
I pictured them now as I went on, “Isesu was sobbing because someone had just stolen what little money she’d had, and … little Akhom, at only four, was trying to console and protect his mother.”
