“Of course I did, it’s terrifying,” she said.
The knot eased a fraction.
“You’ve never regretted it?” I asked.
Ruby paused her work on my hair and met my eyes in the mirror, her small smile slipping a fraction.
“Marriage is hard, Rose. It can feel like a tug of war, but if you can figure out when to push and when to pull and the person on the other side loves you- well, I think it’s the most beautiful thing in the world other than being a mother. You have the second piece of that formula, so it’s just figuring out the first, and I believe in you,” she said.
I swallowed hard, eyes stinging. So much of my life was spent envying Ruby for how naturally everything came to her. A perpetual competition where only one of us was actually competing. Today, in this moment, she was just my big sister.
“Do you think I’m making a mistake?” I asked before I could bite back the words.
Ruby rolled her eyes. “Absolutely. There’s no part of the last year that I don’t think about whether anything was other than a mistake. I’m furious with Oscar and Oliver for letting you get away with any of it, but you are my sister. I can’t tell you what to do. In fact, I know you well enough to know if I tried, you would run twice as fast to the destination.”
An errant tear fell, and Ruby came to stand in front of me, gently dabbing it with her handkerchief. Her own eyes were red, and her lip quivered.
“This isn’t the life any of us would have picked for you, Rose, but I love you. I’ll hold your hand while you walk into danger, and if the day comes that you need rescuing from yourself, I’ll be there, no judgment.”
I sniffed, trying to undo the knot in my chest, now complicated by tears. I was verging on being a mess on my own wedding day.
“Thank you, Ruby,” I whispered.
She pressed a kiss to my forehead, but when she pulled away, there was the utter resolve of steel in her face that I knew to be my big sister.
“Now, Oliver and Oscar are at the door, and you should know Oliver has a carriage waiting out back should you decide to change your mind,” she said.
“I’m not going to change my mind,” I said.
“That’s what I told him,” she said.
I wiped at my eyes as she went to the door of the small room in the back of the church that smelled like incense and florals competing for dominance. There was a small couch and a mirror, but nothing else along the wooden panels, not even a window. It felt as much a confessional as anything.
“Damn Rosie,” Oscar said as soon as the door opened.
“Don’t swear in church, you idiot.” Ruby hissed.
Oscar didn’t hear her as he made his way over to me and scooped me up and whirled me before setting me back on the ground and pressing a kiss to my cheek. I laughed and held my veil to my head, grateful for the familiarity of my twin.
“Don’t mess up her hair!” Ruby said, rushing to save her hard work.
I grinned up at Oscar, who winked at me, just the two of us getting into trouble.
Squeezing his shoulder, Oliver pushed Oscar out of the way and wrapped his arms around me.
“I have a carriage if you want to run. No questions asked,” he said.
Over my shoulder, Ruby threw me a knowing look.
“I’m not running. I want this. I’m choosing him.” I said.
“I probably would too if I were you,” Oscar said.
It was like he knew I was drowning and needed to laugh. It bubbled out of me, but sounded half-crazed. The truth was, Oscar warned me more than once about tying myself to Bash. That he didn’t say anything now was because he loved me.
“It’s his fault you have to wear this high-neck. That I have to work to not only save Oscar’s ass, but now yours too.” Oliver said.
I placed my hand over the tattoo carved onto my chest. No one made me take the mark. That was mine. My choice and my honor.
