He waved a hand, a dark green portal appearing, and staggered through it, leaving Icarus injured and alone in the Whispering Woods.
It wasn’t until much later that he realized he wasn’t sure if Ara had spoken her goodbye to him aloud or not.
Chapter fourteen
Icarus Atwood
Thankingwhatevergodstheremight be, Icarus opened his own portal and stepped through, every part of his body screaming in protest. He welcomed the pain like an old friend. It was a welcome distraction from the disaster he had allowed himself to make tonight. He had let Calder goad him into a fight after avoiding it for years. He refused to consider why Calder had been successful, why he was being so reckless.
Icarus knocked on the familiar door before him, a voice answered, “Come.”
There hadn’t been a doubt in his mind that she would be awake at this hour. Some days, he wondered if she ever slept more than an hour or two. He pushed open the door and Sidonia Sinclair’s purple eyes lifted from the papers at her meticulously organized desk.
“Oh, Icarus.” She frowned as she stood and gestured for him to take her chair. There was disappointment in her voice that he had long since become used to. He imagined he hardly looked dignified as he made his way, but then this was hardly the first time this had happened, though he imagined this might be the worst yet.
As he collapsed into the seat, he let out a hiss of pain. Sidonia scanned him, concern fading from her narrowed eyes as suspicion took root.
“This isn’t from the docks. This is magic,” she said, taking in his torn shirt.
“Calder finally got the fight he has been looking for,” Icarus said through the pain in his jaw.
Sidonia sighed. “Icarus.” It was a reproach laced with sympathy he didn’t want.
He stilled as guilt collected in him, familiar and welcome, as Sidonia applied a delicate cut to her forearm, joining the array of scars already there. The minute her hands hovered over him, ice poured through his veins. He hated the way the magic made him feel, even as his pain faded underneath Sidonia’s careful ministrations. He wouldn’t bother with the healing if Sidonia didn’t insist he maintain the decorum warranted of a Calami professor. She never prevented him from going to the docks as she could have, but she did insist that he hide the evidence of it which is how he found himself in this chair often enough. Taking more from her than he had a right to after everything she had done for him.
“What did he say to make you finally give in?” Sidonia asked when she was finished.
Icarus shifted his jaw, which moved as if nothing had ever happened. Sidonia waved her hand and two steaming cups of tea appeared at her desk. He watched as she carefully pushed one towards him before a chair materialized next to her. Sidonia was rare even among blood witches. She had fought boldly in the Trinity War and quickly rose from the ranks to a place of power. For her service, the witches gave her that which had never been presented to a blood witch before. Her own augere. The ring that rested on her middle finger allowed her to channel her magic through more than just her blood. Blood witches were already feared as it was, so the idea of giving them more access to power was unheard of, however, Sidonia Sinclair was unique.
“He is following in our father’s footsteps and there is nothing I can do except watch it happen.” Icarus regretted the words, even as he said them. There was no one he trusted more than Sidonia, but this was more than he should have shared. “He is obsessed with the Three. I caught him lurking around Calami’s border.”
Sidonia watched him carefully, seeing through his half-truths. He willed his heart not to beat faster under her scrutiny. Whatever he had been in his past, he would protect his brother now.
“What was he hoping to achieve?” she asked, too calm.
Icarus shrugged and busied himself by taking a sip of the bergamot and citrus tea. “He didn’t say. I’ll need to go speak to Cyrus to rein him in.”
Sidonia set down her cup with a gentle clatter. “Icarus. I have known you for ten years and in that time I have never known you to lie to me. However, I understand that your family is a difficult subject for you, but you know you can always confide in me.”
Icarus might have felt shame if his pathetic existence allowed for it, but instead, all he felt was exhaustion clinging to him.
“I shouldn’t have left him,” Icarus said, quietly.
Sidonia reached out a hand and covered his that rested on the chair. “You were suffocating there. No one could have endured it as long as you did. Calder is young and full of noble ideas. He will understand one day.”
Calder had the fire of a chimera, and it was highly unlikely he would ever forgive Icarus for his crimes, and it was true that Icarus wanted none of his forgiveness.
As if reading his thoughts, Sidonia said, “I know you don’t believe me and think you deserve his anger, but you don’t. I wish you could see yourself the way I do. You are more than the ghosts that haunt you, Icarus Atwood.”
Her words were unwelcome and entirely wasted on him. He could never be free of his past and that was a just punishment for his crimes.
“Your niece is formidable,” he said in an attempt to shift the conversation.
Sidonia leaned back in her chair, clearly aware of his tactic, but her amethyst eyes blazed with pride at the mere mention of Lilith Sinclair. He wondered if the tenacious witch knew how much pride her aunt had for her.
“I’m happy to see she has made friends. I worried that the other students might not understand her. Seren Marudas was a good match for her. I think there is little that particular witch is intimidated by. She is as formidable as Lily,” Sidonia said with a small smile.
This was likely the last topic he wanted to discuss, but fate rarely favored him. “Some do not see it as a positive attribute.”
