Maybe I should have taken the opportunity to be with her when I’d had the chance, because now… it was far too late.
Somehow this felt a thousand times worse than having been distracted in my duty. I’d never allowed myself to be with her, and I’d still somehow failed… and lost her… all at once.
Vyns nodded to me before he disappeared down the hall, following Izzy.
They were gone.
My soul cried out.
And my rage boiled over.
Someone was going to pay for this… and pay dearly.
VYNSIEL
Izzy’s spirithad always been blindingly brilliant… until now. Saldrea killing Myel and reviving him had destroyed Izzy, torn apart her spirit, soured it. The tepid glow of Izzy’s broken spirit sickened me physically. It was everything I could do not to lose my lunch over how wrong she felt through our link.
This was why I had to stay with her. I’d be next to useless in the field, given this feeling, but even more important, I knew what Izzy needed to get through this. I could bolster and revive her spirit through our link. Hopefully that would return some hope to her eyes.
She needed to snap out of her current state to have any chance of beating Saldrea tomorrow.
I watched as a severe-looking elf administrator, with a hint of a sneer on his face, affixed the strongest binding collar they had around Izzy’s neck.
Thankfully, my link to her wasn’t hindered. I didn’t know how or why, but I guessed it had something to do with our link being outside of us, not an internal power or ability.
She was taken to a cell. I was not allowed inside, but I satin the cell next to hers, holding her hand through the bars as she sat there, a glazed-over look in her eyes, hopeless. After everyone had gone, except for the guards somewhere out in the hall, I whispered to her.
“Don’t lose hope.”
She blinked and looked at me. “How can I not?”
I lowered my voice even more, moving my face closer to the bars. “Even now, we’re working on a way to get you and Myel out of this. Trust in Koar and the others. They’ll find a way to free you both.”
Izzy sighed heavily.
The look in her eyes sawed through my heart. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe me, more that… she didn’t care.
“What use will it be?” she huffed. “Saldrea knows my weakness now. She’ll continue to target those I care about. Even if we free Myel, he’ll have to live in hiding, for fear Saldrea might find him and kill him and…” She shuddered so hard it looked painful.
She continued, voice barely there, quavering in fear. “Even if we hide him away, there are so many others I care for. She could target any of you. Your deaths wouldn’t hit me the same way as Myel’s, but it would still be horrible. How… how can I live like that? How can I go on?”
I had my work cut out for me if I wanted to snap her out of this.
“We’ll find a way.” It was all I could think to say.
Because the truth was, wehadto find a way. Izzy needed to keep going. She had the power to fight against the systemic injustice of this world, to make a difference. If she became queen, she could change so much, but first she had an uphill fight on her hands. One she could win, but only if she fought as hard as she could against Saldrea and her mother. She couldn’t give up.
I squeezed her hand, trying to give her some of my strength. Over the last few days, watching her train like mad, I’d seen how strong she was, but right now, she needed me to be strong. And I was ready to be there for her, fully.
I’d realized some things over the past few days as I’d witnessed Izzy’s miraculous transformation from a mostly powerless nymph to a stunningly strong elf. I’d been impressed by her work ethic and dedication to changing herself, becoming what she needed to be.
It had inspired me…
…to forgive myself.
As long as I’d known Izzy — and admittedly it hadn’t been that long — I’d held out hope that she could heal the wound in my soul, caused by the horrors I’d inflicted on others while serving Saldrea. But over the last couple days I’d realized that wasn’t her job. It was mine.
She couldn’t heal me, only I could do that, though Izzy had been the catalyst for my healing. She’d given herself to me freely — once I’d gotten passed my need to have her all to myself — with such love and joy and passion that I’d been overwhelmed by it. She had her own issues from her past, but she never let them bog her down. She shone so brightly and loved so deeply, that I’d been stunned by the wonderful sensation of someone actually caring for me. It wasn’t something I’d ever felt, not from my family, nor anyone else.
