It’s why I’d devoted myself to them, why I’d… loved them.
No… I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything for Izzy. It had been my feelings for Mynrial, Talmarion’s daughter, which had distracted me when I’d needed to be at my most vigilant. I’d failed that family, failed in my duty to the royals, and now I had a chance to make it right, and I wouldn’t fail again. I’d never allow Izzy’s perfection to distract me.
And Skies Above, she was perfect.
Strong and kind, gracious and resolute, resilient and bold while also being intelligent and damn-fucking beautiful. As an elf, she’d be able to take anything I could throw her way, but as someone who hadn’t grown up in the filth and indoctrination of this world, she wasn’t a stuck-up, nasty brat, like some princesses.
Perfect.
But off limits.
Even if every fiber of my being strained to touch her, hold her, give her what Myel and Vyns had given her last night. My dragon’s senses had made me quite aware of both events, especially since I’d been on high alert for any danger pertaining to Izzy. She hadn’t been in danger, and I was glad someone was giving her what she needed, but damn if I didn’t want that someone to be me.
Yet, I couldn’t.
I’d never allow myself to get close, not like that. I couldn’t risk the distraction. I had to protect her with my life, had to make sure she lived.
And yet… I couldn’t protect her now.
I watched her walk onto that dominion pitch, knowing Saldrea’s power and spite, but unable to do a damned thing to help Izzy. My muscles twitched and my skin itched with the strain of holding myself back. It went against everything I stood for. Yet, I couldn’t interfere. I was forced to watch over Izzy from the sidelines. And if Saldrea did manage to — Skies Forbid — kill Izzy, I’d make it my life’s work to return that favor on Saldrea herself.
But I had to hope that the miracle that was Izzy couldpull this off. She’d amazed me time and again, ever resourceful and resilient and strong. She could win this.
Shecould…
But so could Saldrea.
I touched the still festering wound on my cheek. I knew how powerful the false princess was, how driven to destroy her enemies, how much she reveled in hurting others. Everyone watching today knew this was a state-sanctioned death-sentence. Saldrea would do her best to kill Izzy… because things like that happened in dominion; it was a brutal game.
Saldrea’s team was stronger, there was no denying it. Elves, dwarves, undines, and sylphim were all at the top of their respective food-chains. Well, technically elves were above dwarves, but the underground dwellers weren’t far behind. And against a barely trained elf, a nymph, a seraph, and an incubus… itshouldbe no contest.
But Izzy’s plan was solid. It just might work. And Saldrea had no clue Izzy had been practicing with an elven instructor, working on her earth magic, in addition to honing her water magic. As far as anyone knew, Izzy was a barely capable water magic wielder and that was it. Izzy had surprise and cunning on her side, versus Saldrea’s brute force and raw power.
Skies Above, I hoped Izzy could pull it off.
She had to…
So I could… continue to protect her. That was it. All I would allow myself. I tried to tell myself it would be enough, service and duty. It had been enough for the past hundred years. But that had been before I’d met this stunning woman and realized that she, unlike every other woman I’d ever known, was ideal for me in every way.
I ground my teeth, though whether it was my fear forIzzy or restraint of my deepest desires, I didn’t know. Probably both.
I was so damn messed up it hurt.
If Izzy didn’t live past today… a part of me would die, just like a part of me had died that day when the rest of her family had perished because of my failure. Living without Izzy would be hell, but… livingwithher would be perpetual torture of a different sort, denying myself the perfection which was right in front of me.
Yet I prayed Izzy would win, would live. Better her alive and me in pain, then her dead and the world denied its rightful ruler.
Izzy had to live.
She had to.
MYELAS
It killedme that Izzy was about to fight for her life while I was stuck here in training with my cohort. My bond demanded that I protect Izzy, and I couldn’t. Not being with her was pure, unadulterated torture.
I’d tried to sound casual, make it an offhand comment, when I’d asked my cohort leader if we could skip today’s training and watch the dominion match.
She shut that down instantly, saying our place was here.
