Bella's breath caught.She looked stunned.
"I'd take myself in hand," Boyd continued, brutally honest, "and try to find some release.My own hand, imagining yer touch.That's all I had for ten years, Bella.That's what my nights were like.I was alone, tormented by memories and dreams of the only woman I've ever loved."
"Boyd?"Bella's voice was barely a whisper.
"Why do ye think they call me the Monk?"Boyd said bitterly."'Tis because I showed no interest in women.Even after battle I preferred my own company to the camp followers.Women think I'm cold.Unfeeling.That I have no heart.But the truth is ye ruined me for all others, Bella.Ruined me because all I wanted was ye, and I couldn't have ye, and it was destroying me from the inside out."
Bella stared at him, her face awash with tears."Why should I believe ye?"
"Because it's the truth!"Boyd's voice broke."Because I've spent ten years alone and celibate, imagining ye fucking Philip Gregory!"
"Who the hell is Philip bloody Gregory?"Bella screamed in frustration, her voice raw with anguish."Ye were the only man I ever loved, Boyd.The only man I ever lay with!How do ye think I could play ye false when my whole heart and body belonged to ye?"
Boyd's voice was hoarse."But yer cousin Paisley told me she saw ye trysting in the woods with Philip.Some men at the tavern confirmed it."
"Paisley?"Bella's laugh was wild, almost hysterical."How would she ken anything?Her loyalties have always been to Bryce!They're thick as thieves.Bryce and Father never wanted me to marry ye and Paisley agreed with them.Why would ye even believe her without asking me?"
Boyd froze, the pieces falling into place with sickening clarity."Bryce," he rasped."It was Bryce."
The truth hit him like gale force wind.Boyd crumbled, his demeanor transforming into that of a broken man."My Bella, I'm so sorry!I believed her."
Bella was sobbing now, the epiphany that all their pain stemmed from Boyd's failure to trust her cutting deep.Anger surged through her grief when she shouted, "I'm the one ye were promised to, and ye could not even ask me?It was my heart that was yers."She pounded her chest, her voice breaking."My heart, and ye destroyed it!"
Boyd staggered back as if she'd struck him."No...what have I done?"
"Ye should have trusted me!"Bella hissed."Ye should have trustedus, Boyd!"
He moved toward her, reaching out, but she stepped away, needing distance.
"I went to the chapel, Bella," he pleaded."To confront ye that night.But ye weren't there.I assumed ye had run away with Philip."
"I was at the chapel, Boyd.I waited for ye till the priest could wait no longer.Ye never came."
"I swear it, Bella, I was there!Ye were not."
She shook her head."No, I waited for hours.Ye promised me, and ye broke yer promise."
Boyd looked confused."But wait.What chapel were ye waiting at?Because I swear to ye, love, ye were not there."
"The kirk by the northern road.Yer note said plans had changed and I was to await ye there with the priest."
"No, Bella!No plan had changed.It was always to be at the same place, the chapel by the smithy, as we had always planned."
They both stilled and stared at one another.
"I swear to ye, Boyd, I received a message to say that we had to change the chapel so we would not be caught..."She paused, her face turned pale.
"From whom?"Boyd asked.
"Paisley's maid," Bella rasped."No...I was such a fool!"
The realization that they had both been deceived crashed over her.She looked up and saw the anguish in her eyes reflected in Boyd's.He was staring at her, shaking his head, a single tear sliding down his cheek.
Boyd closed the distance between them and clasped her in his arms."Bella, dinnae cry, love."His voice shook with emotion."We were both tricked."
Bella began to shudder in his arms as grief wracked her body."I thought the message came from ye, Boyd.I swear it."
"I ken it now, love.I do.Paisley made me believe all manner of terrible things that I couldn't think straight.I should have searched ye out directly and not rested until I saw ye face to face."
