One breath. That is all it would take.
One slip, and I'd be gone.
But then he smiles, and pulls back.
He stands. He doesn't look at me as he throws his jacket over his shoulder. "Stay out of trouble, Rava," he says. And then he just leaves me there.
That's... perfect.
Now it's just me, hard as fuck, on a random roof overthinking about a person I'm not even allowed to have thoughts about.
I laugh under my breath.
It's kinda stupid.
Because... who's gonna stop me from thinking?
Literally no one.
Boom. I just pictured him kissing me again.
Easy. Too easy.
I can think about him doing other things, too.
Why? I don't know. Maybe out of spite. Maybe because I'm touch-starved. I have no idea.
I push myself up, brush the dust off my pants.
I need a cold shower. Urgently. Ice, preferably. I have to get it together. Slow my heart, cool my head.
I go downstairs and Gio is already gone. I walk fast, almost running. When I finally get home, I head straight upstairs.
No eye contact, no nothing. I'm not ready for conversation. I don'twantto be ready for a conversation. If anyone tries to talk to me right now, I might actually combust.
I shut my bedroom door, then go straight into my bathroom and lock that one too.
Finally. Two doors between me and the world.
I can breathe.
I turn on the water and step under it.
I start scrubbing hard. Too hard. My skin goes pink, then red, but I don't stop. If I just rub hard enough, maybe I can wash it off.
Maybe if I scrub enough, the sponge will somehow wipe away the not-very-straight thoughts that are currently haunting me.
It doesn't. At all. If anything, it makes it worse. The hotter the water gets, the worse my head gets.
Every pass over my chest makes me think of his hand there instead. I'm pretty sure all the dirty thoughts are at their peak right now.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Seriously. Like what the actual fuck. I am thinking about him. Again.
I hate him again. I literally hate him. Yet I'm so hard it hurts.
My hand is already down there before I can talk myself out of it.
Fuck. No. Nope.
