"Fine, let me spell it out for you since your magic tether isn't doing its job right now. The important part was how you spoke to me on the bridge. That was not okay. You didn't respect me, my position, or my input. You shut me down before taking a beat to try and understand the point I was making,” I said, doing everything in my power to stop my voice from shaking.
"I am sorry I did that."
"I'm not done."
He put his tea down and held up both hands in surrender.
"I have never heard you speak to anybody else the way you talked to me in there. I wasn't an equal, I was a subordinate. You dismissed me and treated me as less than. You hurt me. You made me feel insignificant, and worse, you made it okay for everyone else to talk to me like that," I said, tears welling in my eyes. "You tell me you love me,then treat me like that in front of the other three beings I trust more than anything in this universe. If you can do that so easily, and without remorse, how will you speak to me in front of people you don't know or care about?"
He stood.
"No, absolutely not. You don't get to touch me right now," I said, taking a step back. "I need you to explain exactly why you did what you did. We are not okay."
"I understand," he said, sitting. "I admit, I was not thinking about you or your feelings. I was thinking about keeping the ship safe."
"You don't think they are the same thing?" I asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Do you think I would ever do anything to put this ship, you, them," I said, waving at the door to the bridge, "in danger? In a situation where they could be killed?"
Torvyn's eyes dropped to the desk as he pursed his lips and thought about my words for a moment. "That is a fair point that I didn't consider. No, I don't think you would ever intentionally do that. I was wrong for not considering that."
He looked up at me and offered a soft smile. "For many years, I only needed to consider the well-being of the ship and how to conduct our missions safely. My Zorathi compatriots all have their own specialties, and we are so used to deferring to each other's expertise when the situation demands it. I overlooked you, your thoughts, and your emotions. I was wrong. I apologize, and I promise it won't happen again."
He ran a hand through his hair, a rare gesture of uncertainty from him. "When I took command of the Starbreaker, I was young and angry. I thought clarity of purpose meant never questioning my decisions. The other Knights... they learned to work around my rigidity. They learned when to push back and when to let me lead." He met myeyes. "But you shouldn't have to learn to work around me, Kira. You should be able to trust that I'll listen."
The raw honesty in his voice, echoed through the tether, hit me harder than his initial apology.
I glared at him. Why was he so good at apologies? I was ready for a knock-down, drag-out fight, where I stormed out at the end and didn't talk to him for the next twenty-four hours while I waited in my quarters for him to come to me and apologize. Instead, I got this.
Wait, did I actually miss fighting? Was I looking for some drama? I pinched my nose and cursed under my breath. Here was a guy admitting he was wrong and doing the work, and all I could think about was how used I was to these situations going sideways that I couldn't accept a sincere apology.
Get it together, babes. These aren't random hookups anymore.
I appreciate that, self. You really know how to lift a girl up.
Anytime!
"Thanks, I guess," I said, still glaring at him. "So what's wrong with my idea?"
"Your idea will get us killed, and this ship captured. Worst of all, it opens the Zorathi Reach to a conflict with the Corporations."
"Hiding lets Voss control the narrative, and it proves to the galaxy that we are more concerned with our own survival than helping people. Not to mention, I feel like the Reach can more than take care of itself," I said.
"That isn't the problem. It is a political issue. Something you don't understand yet because we haven't had time to teach you," he said.
"Well, I'm here now."
"Now isn't the right time to teach you about the Reach. I can handle most fallout from anything that comes back to us. Right now, we need to decide our next step. So what would you do in my place? Please tell me your plan. Convince me that what you want to do accomplishes both of our goals."
Now we were getting somewhere.
"We run silent, like you want. We don't hit corporate supply chains anymore. We don't hit corporate production hubs either. Both of those will command the most security. Instead, we hit them where it really hurts."
"What else possibly hurts these people more than money and producing things to sell?" Torvyn asked.
"Control."
