"When did you last sleep?" I asked.
"I don't remember."
"Then stay here. Close your eyes. I'll wake you if anything changes."
He leaned his head against my shoulder. Within minutes, his breathing deepened and steadied. I sat very still, watching the surgical suite doors, feeling the weight of him against me. One more person I was responsible for. One more person I couldn't protect from everything.
But I could do this. I could be here. That had to count for something.
I must have drifted off as well, because I woke to Lyrin gently stroking my hair. Vaelix was gone. Someone must have helped him to his quarters. The bed in the surgical bay was empty, and a few orderlies were finishing their cleaning.
"Kaedren has been stabilized and moved to a recovery suite," Lyrin said.
The words hit me hard. My vision blurred. My hands, still stained faintly purple, began to shake. I tried to speak and found I couldn't. My throat had closed around something too large to swallow.
He's alive. He's alive. He's alive.
Lyrin crouched beside me and placed a hand on my arm. Through the tether, he sent warmth. Steady. Undemanding.
"Breathe," he said quietly.
I breathed. The shaking didn't stop, but it became manageable. The tears came anyway, silent, tracking down my face and dripping onto my ruined tunic. I hadn't cried through any of it. Not the firefight, not the flight back, not the hours of waiting. Apparently, my body had been saving it for now.
"He's not out of danger," Lyrin continued, his voice gentle but honest. "Recovery will be long. There may be complications. But he survived the surgery, and his vitals are holding steady."
I nodded, wiping my face with the back of my hand. It didn't help much.
"How bad?" I managed.
"Bad. But not as bad as it could have been. He'll need time. Weeks, possibly longer."
I closed my eyes and let that settle. Weeks without Kaedren at full strength. Weeks of watching him heal, of wondering if today would be the day something went wrong. But weeks meant a future. Weeks meant he was still here.
"Now," Lyrin said, and his tone shifted slightly, "we need to discuss you."
I looked up at him. He was still in his surgical scrubs, splattered with Kaedren's blood, but his expression had shifted from doctor to something more personal.
"You're dehydrated, exhausted, and you haven't eaten since before the mission. Your body has been running on adrenaline for hours, and now that the crisis has passed, you're going to crash. Hard."
"I'm fine."
"You're not. And I'm not asking." He stood and extended a hand to help me up. "You need food, water, and rest. In that order."
I took his hand and let him pull me to my feet. My legs nearly buckled. He was right about the adrenaline. He steadied me with a hand on my elbow.
"The crew is watching," he said quietly. "They need to see that you can take care of yourself, even when someone you love is hurt. Especially then."
I wanted to argue. I wanted to go straight to the recovery suite and sit beside Kaedren's bed until he opened his eyes. But Lyrin was right, and I knew it.
"Fine," I said. "But I want to see him first."
"Fifteen minutes. Then you eat and sleep."
"You're very bossy for a man who claims we're all equals in this relationship."
"I'm your physician right now. That means I outrank you when it comes to your health." A faint smile crossed his face. "I've already had a meal sent to your quarters. It will be waiting when you're ready."
"What kind of meal?"
