Then the part that remembers the breakup, the silence, the way she cut me out without a second thought—that part wants to skate away and never look back.
“I should—” Stella gestures vaguely toward Aiden. “We should go.”
Some of my teammates hit the ice, stretching and getting ready for practice. I could join them, but my skates are frozen in place.
Aiden’s face crumples. “Can we stay and watch practice? Please?”
“Sweetie, I’m sure E—Mr. Eli has things to do.”
“But-but…” He turns to me, desperate. “Can I come back?”
I should say no. But when I look down at Aiden’s hopeful face and ig round eyes, and then at Stella’s panicked one—and then at her ringless left finger—I hear myself say, “Yeah, buddy. How about next week?”
Stella’s eyes flash—anger? Fear? I can’t read her anymore like I used to.
“In fact, there’s uh…” Think fast, idiot. “A-another part of this program. Yeah. Where we teach the kids to skate and basic hockey drills. You know, it gives them a proper introduction to the sport. All expenses paid. We um… meet twice a week.”
“Mom, please? Can I?” Aiden begs.
She chews her cheek.“ I don’t know, sweetie. It’s quite a drive from Boulder, and you know my schedule with classes is tough to manage as it is.”
Classes? Boulder?
For some reason, I can’t let her get away. “Well, good news. I have a location closer to Boulder, too.” I hope Renae will not have my head on a platter for piling more work on her. A list forms in my head of everything I’d need her to do to move mynew nonprofit operation to Boulder by next week, just so I can see these two again.
“I’ll send you some information and the application,” I offer.
“Okay. We’ll think about it and look at the schedules,” Stella clips with a flatline smile.
“Yay. Can you come to my birthday party, Mr. Eli?” Aiden blurts, oblivious to the tension crackling between us. Stella gasps.
“Aiden.” Her voice cuts sharply.
“It’s at Christmas, but Mom says we might have a party at a rink and you could come and?—”
“Aiden. That’s enough. We need to go.” She won’t look at me. I watch her get him bundled up against the cold outside, being this whole motherly person I never knew. We’re strangers now… when there was once a time my tongue had mapped out her entire body.
“What do you say to Mr. Eli for all this gear he gave you today?” She stands, grabbing the gear bag, which is almost bigger than her, still not looking at me.
“Thank you for everything,” he cries out, and waves as they head toward the exit. “Bye, Mr. Eli! I hope I see you again.”
“I hope so, too.” I return the wave. At the door, Stella takes a final unreadable glance back at me before they slip out.
The place feels empty now that they’ve gone. Or is it the daze I’m in as I step on the ice? The Zamboni machine operator quickly maneuvers around me so as not to hit me.
“Fuck, man. Are you okay?” Sean skates up to me.
“Fine. I just realized I knew that mother.”
“The sexy redhead?”
“Don’tevenget any ideas about her,” I growl.
He backs off with hands in the air. “Off-limits. Got it.”
Eight years ago, Stella broke my heart. A week after that, I saw her back with her ex-boyfriend, a footballer no less, sittingin his lap at the college cafeteria feeding him fries like we had never happened.
So I moved on too. Or tried to. Dated around my rookie year in the league, and gained a playboy reputation. But I never forgot her. Even while married to my ex-wife, Stella was still there, taking up space in the background like a unsolved mystery.
