“I know there was animosity between you two back then, but even now? You’re grown men. He’s remarried. We have Aiden to think about, and as adults there’s no place for jealousy anymore.” I shake my head. “I need to respond to his texts somehow to calm this situation down.”
He sets the phone down and leans forward, elbows on his knees, cracking his knuckles loud enough to wake Aiden if he doesn’t stop. Every muscle on his back tenses, but I reach out and rub it in soothing circles, willing him to be smart about this. After a minute or two, he sinks back into the cushions with a huge sigh, threading our fingers together.
“I won’t walk away, Stella. He destroyed us the first time around; I won’t let him do it again. But I’ll use every resource, every dollar I have, to hire the best lawyer and help you fight for custody if he follows through with his threats. I promise you, I’ll be the better man. If Jerrod comes to Aiden’s birthday party, I’ll welcome him, and I’ll be good. He’s his father, and I will not show any hostility toward him, not with Aiden watching. It’d do us no good fighting for custody if I make front-page headlines assaulting Jerrod for being an asshole.”
“Thank you. That means so much to me. Oh, God, I made a horrible mistake, didn’t I?” I cup his cheeks. “I think back to the day I broke up with you. I broke your heart, Eli, and I knew it was wrong the entire time I talked with you about it. Why did Ido that? And why did you just let me go?” I breakdown, sobbing into his shoulder, the tears coming fast and furious.
“Hey, did you forget I tried reaching you that entire week—by phone, text, even pounding on your dorm room door? I couldn’t find you. And then I saw you on Jerrod’s lap in the cafeteria, feeding him lunch and smiling at him like you and I were never together. It killed me to see you happy in his arms, but if that’s who you wanted most…” His voice cracks, head shaking. “I didn’t fight for you. I loved you too much to prevent your happiness with Jerrod, so I let it go, and I walked away from what I thought was true love. It nearly killed me, Stella.”
“I didn’t return your calls because I was miserable after breaking up with you. So I went out with my friends that night to get drunk. I needed a distraction from everything. Only I woke up the next morning hungover in Jerrod’s bed?—”
Eli scowls, his chest caved in, shoulders down, as if the pain of it all is fresh again, weighing him down. But I have to get it all out now.
“I lost my phone somewhere that night, and I don’t remember a thing. But Jerrod was a good friend and knew my family situation. So he made a comfortable and safe place for me to stay the entire week in his dorm room, hiding me away, letting me use his phone to contact my mom and dad and figure things out. But I think…” I suck in a breath. “If I had had my phone and been in my dorm, looked into your eyes and heard your voice, I’d have told you everything and gotten back together with you.”
“You think Jerrod was there for you as a friend?” The level of his voice rises. His eyes are dark, wearing his pain there. “I see it differently. Sounds more like he held you captive, keeping you away from me so we couldn’t reconcile.”
“No. He held me together, the glue I needed to keep from falling apart.” The ache in my heart tightens as the memories press in. “My dad was arrested. My parents were drowning inserious legal and money issues. After I broke up with you, Jerrod stepped in and took over everything for my mom and me—appointments, paperwork, and more. And when I found out I was pregnant—” I hesitate when he winces.
“Go on. Don’t stop now. Tell me everything.”
“The doctor and I counted back the weeks, trying to narrow down the window of conception. It landed somewhere around the week you and I broke up. The last time we were together could have fallen early in that window. For a fleeting moment, I thought the baby was yours.”
His breath catches—just once—before he exhales through his nose, frowning.
This next part might hurt him even more. “But when I told Jerrod—he admitted we’d slept together the night I was drunk and hadn’t used protection. I don’t remember any of it. He didn’t want to tell me the next morning because of how distraught I was, and he didn’t figure it would matter. But with the baby news, it suddenly mattered.”
“What kind of asshole takes advantage of a drunken woman like that? You know I never liked him, Stella. He’s a conniving—” He stands and drags a hand through his hair, pacing away from the couch.
I take a deep breath. “No, it wasn’t like that. He was genuinely overjoyed about becoming a father. He proposed to me and planned our wedding. Convinced me to take time off from school to have the baby. He told me it was okay to stay home, even when we could barely survive on his income.” My voice drops. “He was only ever there for me—at least until the end of our marriage.”
“Stella, do you hear yourself? He was isolating you. Controlling you like a puppet. Can’t you see that? Years later, when he found someone new, you became inconvenient, so hedivorced you. But he’s still trying to control you from afar, trying to drive a wedge between us again. Fuck!” he shouts.
I jump up, folding my arms tightly against my chest, like a shield. “You’re wrong about him. Why don’t you understand? See, this is why I shouldn’t have the two of you together at Aiden’s birthday party.”
“You’re right. I said earlier I’d be the better man when he arrives for the party, but hearing everything he did to you? I don’t think I can hold myself back from beating his ass.”
Enraged, I let him have it. “You know I can’t have anything or anyone cause problems for me if there’s another custody battle. If you’re going to let your emotions rule and fists fly, then forget about the party. I don’t want you anywhere near Jerrod.”
“Stella, wait?—”
“No, Eli. I won’t risk it. My priority is Aiden and I need to protect him.” I run to the bedroom.
“Stella!”
My hand trembles on the doorknob, knowing if I put this wall between us, we might not be able to find our way back. But I’m doing what’s best for my son. I yank it open and slam it shut.
Tears free-fall down my face, and I slide to the floor, knees to my chest. I have to do this—even if it means shutting Eli out once again. No matter what it’s costing my heart this time.
CHAPTER 17
SPACE AND TIME
ELI
After our argument,things are off-track with Stella. We orbit each other carefully. I’m afraid one wrong word will shatter what little peace we’ve kept for Aiden’s sake.
Stella refuses to back down about the party—she doesn’t want me anywhere near Jerrod. Marjorie must suspect something’s going on too. She eyes our every move but doesn’t ask questions.
