Her booted foot gives a small stomp, and it's adorable. Her cheeks flush when she realizes what she did, and she drops her arms. “If you don’t want to talk then we have no reason to keep standing here, Finn.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” I apologize, before reaching down to take her hand and having her follow me to the outside patio. It's lit up with fairy lights and only a few people are gathered. I lead her over to the railing, where we can look out at the city. The moon is bright in the night sky, even if none of the stars are visible. Winnie turns to face me, and I take her other hand in mine, finding strength in her touch. Surprisingly, she doesn’t let me go either.
“I had the best night of my life with you at that fair, Winnie. Most of the time, I go out with my friends just for something to do, to escape. But that night was different. I fell for you instantly.”
“Then what happened?” she asks, her voice soft, concern etched into her face.
“I remembered who I was,” I laugh, but it's humorless, full of loathing. “I got home, and my dad was a mess, like always. And like always, because I’m the dutiful son, I cleaned it up. When I went to bed, I couldn’t remember how it felt to hold you. I couldn’t feel anything but hatred for the family I belonged to. I could never bring you into my world, Win, to let you carry the shame of having me in yours. I know you know I’m a Kinsella.”
Winnie’s face pales, and she swallows before blowing out a breath. “I knew who you were when you left, and I still texted you like you asked because I wanted to. I felt it too, Finn. Your last name didn’t matter to me.”
I take a deep breath in and out, trying to push the emotion down that is clogging my throat.
“I don’t have a good family, Winnie. I can never invite you over; I never want their presence to taint you. But I’m selfish because I want you. I want to feel the way I did that night with you, and not worry about the politics of it. I'm sorry. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I should have texted you back. I should have called you the next day,” I tell her, dropping her hands and wrapping my arms around her waist. Winnie moves with me, instead of away, her arms resting on my shoulders, her fingers playing with the hair at the back of my neck. My whole body shudders from her touch.
“I don’t have the perfect family either, Finn. I can’t promise you many nights out or staying out past ten because I always have a curfew, and my parents are strict. You’ll have to come to my house eventually and they’ll judge you because that's how they are. They’re scared of what they don’t understand, and they rely heavily on their church,” she tells me, and I notice tears forming in her eyes. One escapes and I quickly wipe it off her cheek.
“So what you’re saying is that we both have fucked-up families.” I smile at her, and she laughs. I love that sound from her.
“Yeah.” She nods and laughs again, and this time, I join her. “I won’t judge you because of yours. I’m hoping we can just be Finn and Winnie and everything else won’t matter.”
“I can do that,” I promise her, stepping closer and bringing her body into mine. I can feel how soft she is against me. I watch as her eyes turn darker, molten coffee, and her cheeks blushprettily. She bites her lip like she’s nervous, and the sight of it makes me want to protect her while also pressing her into the railing behind us to taste those lips again. “I want to be what you need, Winnie. There’s nothing I want more than to kiss you right now, so if you aren’t ready, if you want to go slow after I almost fucking ruined us, let me know.”
She inhales lightly, her fingers tightening in my hair. Her eyes dip to my lips involuntarily. “I want you to kiss me, Finn.”
I bend down in an instant, capturing her mouth with mine. My heart hammers in my chest when she melts even more into me. My arms wrap around her, almost lifting her off her feet, just needing to have her close. Still, my lips never leave hers, tasting her, and finally feeling whole for the first time in my life. I’d be an idiot to ever let her go again.
Chapter 5
Winnie, 18 years old
3 months later…
Another pebble hits my window, and my lips curve in the darkness. I’ve been in bed for the past two hours, per my parents' rules for my curfew, waiting and biding my time until I hear the telltale sign that my boyfriend is outside waiting for me. It's Thanksgiving, and instead of spending the day with him, I arrived back in town late with my parents after being at my aunt's home for the afternoon. As much as I like spending time with my family, I missed him. The day was busy with food and catching up with my cousins that I barely even had time to look at my phone. I also spent a lot of time fielding questions about my boyfriend from my family, and it hurt to know he had been invited, but my parents had not extended the invitation. Three months together and they still act surprised that we’re dating. Finn never lets it get to him though. I make sure to attend all his lacrosse games, and he sits through Sunday dinners with my family, taking all their criticism in stride. I have yet to visit the Kinsella mansion, but with what Finn tells me about his family, I have no desire to meet those people. Theysound horrible, and I know Finn’s dad treats him like he’s the help rather than his son.
Despite all of this, Finn and I are standing strong. Finn has gotten creative in his ways to see me. Since we live in different towns and go to different schools, our time together is already limited, but he makes every attempt that he can to see me. I can’t go a day without talking to him; seeing him smile is my favorite thing in the world. Anything I can do to ease his burden and take his mind off the darkness that takes over when it comes to his family, I do gladly and with a smile on my lips. We’ve become inseparable, often using social gatherings and group activities to sneak off and be alone. I thought at first that Angel would be mad at me for bailing now and then, but instead, my wild child friend shakes her head, smirking and often aiding our time alone. Like last weekend, when I told my parents I was sleeping at her house, but we stayed out at the movies with Finn and Jered instead. I crave Finn. I need his blue eyes staring at me with that silent intensity I can’t name. I want his arms around me, being able to breathe in his scent, to feel alive. I’m so in love with him. I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to tell him, to let him know how much I want and need him with me forever. We’re both in our senior year of high school, and real life is creeping up fast. I thought I had my life all planned out, but now that I’m with Finn, I want something different. Wherever he goes, I’ll follow. As long as we’re together.
Another pebble hits my window, and I hear him whisper my name, my nickname, the one he usually uses when we’re lost in each other. “Daisy!”
I giggle to myself and hop out of bed, pulling on my leggings and grabbing my favorite sweatshirt, one I stole from Finn, off my desk chair and throw it on before moving to my window and sliding it up.
“Romeo, Romeo,” I whisper to him, and he frowns. I can’t help but laugh at the almost jealous look he has on his face.
“Romeo was a pussy,” he argues, his brow arched.
I shrug. “Maybe. But he also stood outside the window of the girl he wanted.”
“Mmm, but I plan to do more for my girl rather than just stalk her window,” he whispers and smiles at me, my favorite smile, the one that’s a little crooked and a lot of a smirk.
“That so?” I giggle quietly, my hand covering my lips. He nods and raises his arms to where the trellis is against the side of my house.
“Yup. Now get down here, Daisy. I need you.” He climbs up halfway to meet me while I climb out my window and shimmy over the trellis top, hopping on quietly and grabbing for Finn’s offered hands. We’ve done this far too many times, and I know if my parents found out, I’d be grounded until graduation. Still, I risk it all for Finn and the time with him. Once he lifts me to the ground, he takes my hand, and we sneak between the houses to the next street over, where his car is usually parked. Only this time, in its place sits a cherry red Harley-Davidson Dyna Glide Super Glide Sport. And yes, I know the whole name of the body and build because it's Finn’s passion, and he’s been saving for this bike for a few years now.
“When did you get it?” I turn to him, excitement flowing through my system. He watches me, knowingly.
“A couple of weeks ago. I wanted to make sure I could ride it safely and do all the things I need to for it to be road-ready before I took you for a ride,” he answers, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.
“A few weeks! Finn, this is amazing. It's what you always wanted.” I rush up to the bike, running my fingers gently over the black leather seat.
