Ella plunged on. “But our relationship…it’s not that kind of marriage. Or rather, we never really defined what it would be. And we don’t love each other, so…it just seems…it seems like our marriage is one of convenience.”
Cody sat still as a stone, processing her words. She wanted children. He’d never stopped to think about starting a family, considering he’d inherited a ready-made one. It hadn’t occurred to him that his wife might want babies. In hindsight, he should have thought about it. Most women wanted that.
The full implication of what that meant for their relationship smacked him in the face. Cody tugged at his collar, suddenly warm. He got to his feet and rubbed his neck. Ella wasn’t the only one sporting a blush. He paced the length of the porch a couple times before stopping in front of her. His wife watched him, the blanket surrounding her like a shield.
How to approach such a topic? Cody leaned against one of the porch rails and faced Ella. “I admit this isn’t something that ever crossed my mind. Are you wanting a baby…soon?”
“No!” Her tone held a note of panic. “Of course not. I’m still getting used to mothering the three we have now.”
“Ahh…good. That’s good.”
He sounded like a stammering schoolboy. Cody rammed a hand through his hair.
Ella rose. “Did you hope for a family? Before…all this?”
Memories assailed him. Cody clenched his teeth, wanting to push them away, but that wouldn’t help the situation. “A long time ago, yes.”
Ella stepped closer. “What happened?”
She’d opened up to him about her past. Maybe it was time for him to do the same. Cody drew in a deep breath. “When I was nineteen, I thought myself in love. Liza and I met at a barn raising for a neighboring family. She’d come West in hopes of adventure and romance. The fact that she showed interest in me, an orphan with nothing, bolstered my pride. I was sure I didn’t deserve her, but she insisted she loved me. We were together for a year before I asked her to be my wife. She said yes.”
He closed his eyes with a shake of his head. How foolish he’d been. And so, so young. “She always talked about wanting to continue on to California. I thought when she agreed to marry me that she’d put that behind her. Looking back, the warning signs were there. I ignored them, thinking our love would be enough for her.” He sighed. “I was dead wrong.”
Ella put a hand on his arm. “What happened?”
“Our wedding day arrived. It was a small affair, just Cassie and a few of our friends. When the church doors opened, I expected to see her walk down the aisle in a white dress. Instead, she wore a yellow traveling outfit and announced she was heading to California.”
“Oh, Cody.” The sadness in Ella’s voice wrapped around him as she laid her head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
He laughed without mirth. “That’s not even the worst part.”
She looked up, shock on her face. “It’s not?”
“No.” He closed his eyes, pressing his lips together. “She wasn’t alone. The banker walked into the church with her. They were holding hands. Liza told me she fell for him and that they were in search of a new adventure. Together.” He clenched his fists. “I was so busy starting up my ranch, I didn’t realize she’d been spending time in town. A lot of time. With him.”
Ella’s mouth fell open. For a full minute, she said nothing. Then, something akin to anger burned in her eyes. “Liza sounds like a fool.”
“Maybe it’s for the best. If she hadn’t left then, she would have left me after our wedding. It might have been months or years, but she wasn’t happy in Harmony Springs.” He sighed. “She wasn’t happy with me.”
“And that’s exactly why she didn’t deserve you. You’re a keeper, Cody Brooks. She clearly didn’t know what she had in you. Though I can’t say I’m sorry she left.” She gave him a shy smile. “Her loss was my gain.”
His heart leapt. He had to grip the rail behind him to keep from reaching for his tender-hearted wife. “Ella…”
She gazed up at him, her eyes reflecting the stars. “So that’s why you haven’t fallen in love again? You didn’t want to get hurt?”
“Something like that. It broke me, shattered my confidence. I can see now that what I felt for her wasn’t real love, but it still wounded me enough to avoid women at all costs.” His lips quirked. “Until you.”
Ella laughed, though it sounded nervous. “Not that you had much choice. It was me or an unknown mail-order bride.” She pulled the blanket closer. “At least your heart will remain safe.”
Would it? Cody wasn’t so sure. Ella was steadily chipping away at his resistance. It was her heart he wondered about.
“My heart belongs to you.” He said it without thinking.
Ella stared at him, mouth hanging open.
If only he could stuff the words back in his mouth. That had come out wrong, and he knew how it sounded. “I mean, as my wife, you’re the only one with any kind of claim to it. Love or not. We’re becoming friends, right?”
She nodded, her eyes glued to his.
