I didn’t plan to come to the fair in the midst of, well, everything. But the second Noah spotted the Ferris wheel going up two days ago, its bright lights flashing in the dusky sky like a promise of fun, I knew this was inevitable.
So here we are. I remembered sunscreen, sunhat — although why do I bother when he keeps taking it off — snacks, juice, and even a bottle of water for myself. But my phone? That I forgot. Usually it wouldn’t be a big deal but today, it almost feels like an omen.
We’re wading through the smells of fried dough, popcorn, and too-sweet lemonade. Noah is grinning so wide it looks like his cheeks might split. He’s already bought a balloon, using all his pocket money to get a… I honestly don’t know what that shape is. It looks like a tooth with legs.
He’s dragging me toward the ring toss booth, tiny legs full of determination.
“You want to win a prize?” I ask.
He nods solemnly. “I want that bear, please.” The bear he’s pointing at is roughly the size of my torso, with plastic eyes that look like they’ve seen a lot. Probably everything.
“Hmm,” I say. “Not sure if the bear is ready to move in with us, but let’s see how it goes.”
I hand over a crumpled bill. Noah tries first, and his little rings wobble through the air and land everywhere but the poles.
I try next. I miss every single one.
Noah just shrugs, completely unbothered, eyes already on the wheel.God, I love this kid.
Also, if Xaden was here, he’d win that bear. He’d win it just to see Noah’s face light up. And the thought makes my stomach flip, because I can picture it: the three of us, ice cream in hand, going up on the wheel together. A family.
The Ferris wheel creaks lazily in the afternoon sun, blinking invitingly.
Suddenly it’s like I’m seventeen again.
***
We were here. Same old creaky wheel. Same songs — Staying Alive, Easy Livin ’— croaking over ancient speakers. Lights sparkling in the evening light.
It was the first time we saw each other after Pisgah.
I had already re-lived our night in the tent so many times, it was maybe unhealthy.
Xaden had landed a summer job here: lifting crates, fixing cables, charming old ladies out of their complaints. He texted me to meet him at the Ferris wheel.
“Hi,” he said softly, wiping his hands on a rag.
I blushed, like always. There was something about the way Xaden said hi that felt like he was already kissing me.
“One of the church ladies winked at me earlier,” he said gravely. “I’m traumatized.”
“I think you’ll survive,” I smile. “Unless it was Mrs. Harlow? ‘Cos in that case you’re doomed.”
Xaden leaned in, lips twitching. “It was. And I’m pretty sure the only thing that can heal me now is a kiss. From you. In a very specific location. Say… seventy feet up, with a view and some stars.”
I swallowed. “You want to go up?”
“I bribed Milo. Five minutes at the top,” Xaden said, winking. And that wink almost sent me into cardiac arrest.
We boarded the rickety seat. The Ferris wheel creaked into motion. My palms were already sweating. Xaden was calm, like always. Infuriatingly calm. Arm draped across the back of the seat like it wasn’t the most emotionally charged fairground ride of my life.
“You okay?” he asked, smiling softly. Teasing me. Grounding me. He brushed my knuckles with his thumb.
“Yeah,” I squeaked. “Just, you know. Heights.”
“You’re not scared of heights, Cole,” he said gently.
I bit my lip. “Yeah, but now I feel like a gay Rapunzel.”
